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The Big White Farmhouse

intentional living, little by little

September 22, 2025

To Everything There Is a Season…

“Goodbye, on the Mersey” by James Tissot (1881)

To everything there is a season, and after fourteen years, it’s time for me to say goodbye to the Big White Farmhouse.

Since my last update, I’ve discovered quite a bit about my health and how I need to proceed going forward.  Iron deficiency was just a symptom, not a cause.  It turns out that chronic stress was starting to kill me.  When you’re constantly in “fight or flight” and your body doesn’t know how to turn it off, your gut stops working and stops absorbing nutrients.  And while the human body is incredibly resilient and will compensate for awhile, even the helpers eventually get depleted.  This was my problem.  At some point, my body screamed, “I’ve had enough.”

During my summer of healing, I kept returning to the idea of retreating into the desert: embracing silence, creating margin, calming my mind and heart of all unnecessary noise.  This has resulted in many life changes and retiring the blog is the latest.  I think after fourteen years, I’ve said all I need to say?

The saddest part is saying goodbye to all of you lovely ladies who have commented here over the years.  I have been so blessed by your wisdom and encouragement.  In so many ways, you have helped me feel less alone in this big world.  I can’t thank you enough for that.  I’m not on any social media anymore but would love to stay in touch via snail mail if anyone is interested.  Send me an email!

Anyway, the purpose of this blog has always been to seek out and document the good, true and beautiful.  Thank you for the opportunity to share a bit of that here.  I will definitely still be on the hunt; I hope you’ll continue in your part of the world too.

May the Lord bless you and keep you in the palm of His hand.  Your friend, Ashley

July 28, 2025

No.935: Last (Six) Weeks at the Farmhouse // Hello Again

“Children’s concert” by Georgios Jakobides (1900)

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission of any sale made at no extra cost to you.

Hello!  It’s been awhile.  I first want to thank you so much for all of the incredibly kind comments and prayers as I took my blog break.  Words can’t really describe how much that meant to me.

So what’s been going on?  I guess I should start at the beginning.  Ten days after my first medical incident, I had a terrifying cardiac event with a very high heart rate, resulting in my first ambulance trip and another ER visit.  All tests came back normal and I was so embarrassed.  (I promise I’m not a hypochondriac!)  I had a follow-up appointment at a family practitioner who was also stumped but ordered more bloodwork.  After a week of nervous waiting (and getting progressively worse), the results came back with a “critically low non-anemic iron deficiency”, a 4% iron saturation rate which should ideally be between 15-55%.

I was shocked.  Even with six pregnancies, I have never had iron issues!  What I thought was just a pinched nerve in my neck was actually the beginning of serious neuropathy symptoms due to iron and mineral deficiency.

The follow-up care from the doctor was very disappointing, so I had to figure out a recovery plan on my own.  I eat a lot of healthy meats (perks of farming) so I knew the quantity of iron wasn’t the issue, but most likely the absorption.  I immediately started iron supplementation.  I put myself on a strict diet (mostly paleo with some low-FODMAP/gluten-free foods for variety and everything timed correctly around my pills) to make sure gluten, dairy and tannins would not inhibit the absorption.  I weaned myself off of most coffee.  I researched everything from PubMed papers to Reddit threads and learned about iron and its connections with chronic stress, low stomach acid, intestinal permeability and mineral deficiencies.  Basically, I was a hot mess and had a lot of work to do!

My “first day of healing” began on June 27th and the recovery has been slow going.  There were many days that felt like an infuriating dance of one step forward and two steps back.  It has been incredibly hard on my mental health but I kept telling myself that every day is one step closer to feeling well.  I have a follow-up lab appointment on August 5 to see how the iron supplementation is working and am praying for some positive progress.

So yeah…my garden is completely overgrown, my home needs a deep clean, my medical bills are sure to be staggering and I have accomplished basically nothing for weeks, but I’m slowly healing and that’s what matters most.  I’ll figure out the rest later.

Six weeks of good things:

  1. Calming activities. // One of my persistent symptoms has been persistent heaviness/stiffness/aching/tingling in my arms and legs.  Because I can’t seem to get comfortable, I am easily agitated and fidgety.  So frustrating!  I am also struggling with anxiety caused by the iron deficiency.  To combat these problems, I turned to all the calming distractions I could muster: working on old word puzzle and word search activity books, creating paper collages from all sorts of odds and ends, and listening to peaceful background music.  (Retro Sleep videos were a frequent choice as well as the rosary sung in Gregorian Chant.)
  2. Taking a long pause on the farm. // Our fox problem has only intensified this summer and by early July, we sadly lost all of our hens.  So as of now, our farm is on hiatus for the time being.  It’s bittersweet but also feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
  3. Dealing with unaddressed stress and grief. // Part of this healing process required a head-on look at the things I have been pushing deep down inside.  Lots of tears, which was unexpected from this analytical robot (ha), but cathartic and healing too.
  4. Homeschool planning almost done! // I invested in a subscription to Homeschool Planet and got almost an entire school year’s worth of planning done in one month!  Cannot recommend enough if you’re juggling the education of a lot of kids and seem to always have things come up that quickly mess up all of your hard work.
  5. Learning about magnesium’s role in the body. // I took a deep dive on this subject (some interesting links: here and here and here) and it is really fascinating!  I originally tried to supplement with Natural Vitality Calm powder, but my stomach couldn’t handle it.  In a last-ditch effort, I bought transdermal magnesium (I ordered this one on a recommendation from my mom) and it was a game changer!  It’s now a part of my nightly routine.
  6. Books I read or am currently reading. //
    1. Poor Banished Children by Fiorella De Maria // Well written, but it had a Kristin Hannah level of unrelenting suffering.  It made me think a lot about freedom and suffering and the power of God’s mercy.
    2. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley // Not my favorite dystopian novel, but thought-provoking.
    3. The Dirty Life: A Memoir of Farming, Food, and Love by Kristin Kimball // I have never felt more seen than when reading this book.  This followed the author’s experience of starting a new farm and the unrelenting, expensive work it involves.  Nothing more satisfying, nothing more difficult.  Farming often gets reduced to rose-colored glasses and it was nice to see that our experience was more common than people think.  Starting a farm is HARD.
    4. Kristin Lavransdatter by Sigrid Undset // Currently reading.  In the past, I have always put this book off because it’s over 1000 pages and I have those reading goals to accomplish (so stupid…).  This time, I decided to dive in anyway.  So glad I did; I’m quite invested in the story now.
    5. Confessions by Saint Augustine // Currently reading.  So good.
  7. A boot camp graduation! // The most exciting news is that we attended my oldest son’s United States Marine Corps boot camp graduation!  He enlisted in January and has been gone since April.  I have kept this news quiet and close to my heart because people have many opinions about the military and some comments have been quite cruel.
    I come from a strong Marine Corps family and the foundational values of what makes it great run deep in my veins.  My husband and I have raised our children to respect themselves and others, to have a servant’s heart and to do each task to the best of their ability.  Those lessons are critical for all walks of life, but my oldest son went one step further.  He will be continuing the tradition, the fourth generation in our family to wear the uniform!  I am the granddaughter, daughter, wife and sister of United States Marines.  Now I can claim the title of mother too.  We are so proud.

July 17, 2025

No.934: A Summer Integrated Humanities Program // Week Six

“The Black Brook” by John Singer Sargent

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission of any sale made at no extra cost to you.

Welcome to Week 6 of the Big White Farmhouse’s Summer Integrated Humanities program!  Let’s return to some lighter themes this week.

Just jumping in?  You can find the links to the previous weeks here: Week 1 // Week 2 // Week 3 // Week 4 // Week 5


ARTIST OF THE WEEK: JOHN SINGER SARGENT

“John Singer Sargent was the most successful portrait painter of his era, as well as a gifted landscape painter and watercolorist.” (via)

Painting realistic portraits requires incredible skill!  His controversial painting of Madame X would make an interesting rabbit trail.

“An Artist in His Studio”
“Madame Ramón Subercaseaux”
“Fishing for Oysters at Cancale”

KINDNESS

“Edgar Guest was an English-born poet who spent much of his life in America (and is widely acknowledged as American). He’s often known as the ‘People’s Poet’ due to his highly relatable, optimistic poems on everyday life.” (via)  The poem below reflects on the far-reaching effects of a kind word or deed – inspiring!

Kindness
by Edgar Albert Guest

One never knows
How far a word of kindness goes;
One never sees
How far a smile of friendship flees.
Down, through the years,
The deed forgotten reappears.
One kindly word
The souls of many here has stirred.
Man goes his way
And tells with every passing day,
Until life’s end:
“Once unto me he played the friend.”
We cannot say
What lips are praising us to-day.
We cannot tell
Whose prayers ask God to guard us well.
But kindness lives
Beyond the memory of him who gives.

AN EXPLORATION INTO FOLK MUSIC
“The Banjo Lesson” by Henry Ossawa Tanner (1893)

“…what is folk music? The most simple explanation is that it is rooted in what claims to be. Folk music is music that comes from the people—ordinary people experiencing the everyday joys and sorrows of life. Typically, folk music is performed with acoustic instruments (as opposed to electric instruments like the electric guitar or the keyboard). This keeps the musicians connected to the earthiness and realism that folk music organically proclaims. It is not music distorted by technology. It is music that has its roots in trees and rocks and minerals that expresses the materials of the human experience. In other words, folk music uses acoustic tonalities because they connect the musician to the natural world. This, in turn, allows the musician to contemplate and express raw human nature.” (via)

I am not knowledgeable in this area at all, so I found this list of 100 Most Essential Folk Songs to give us a head start.  Below are links to the top five songs or you can use the Spotify playlist at the bottom of the article above to play all 100:

  • This Land is Your Land – Woody Guthrie
  • Blowin’ in the Wind – Bob Dylan
  • City of New Orleans – Steve Goodman
  • If I Had a Hammer – Pete Seeger
  • Where Have All The Flowers Gone – The Kingston Trio

FOR THE BIRDS…
The reason for studying any bird is to ascertain what it does; in order to accomplish this, it is necessary to know what the bird is, learning what it is being simply a step that leads to a knowledge of what it does.  But, to hear some of our bird devotees talk, one would think that to be able to identify a bird is all of bird study.  On the contrary, the identification of birds is simply the alphabet to the real study, the alphabet by means of which we may spell out the life habits of the bird.  To know these habits is the ambition of the true ornithologist, and should likewise be the ambition of the beginner…” – Handbook of Nature Study, p.27

Things to Do…

  • Sit outside in silence and listen for bird calls.  Which can you identify?
  • Invest in a feeder. (When we lived in the suburbs, we owned a suction cup window feeder and loved it!)
  • Research ways you can create a bird-friendly yard with this post from Audubon.  Maybe you can do some planting in the fall?

MISCELLANEOUS RABBIT TRAILS…
“Spring, Grammercy Park” by John French Sloan (1912 )

+ Check your local offerings for the opportunity to attend a concert in the park.  They are most often free and there’s nothing like listening to music in community and outdoors!

+ Explore the Smithsonian Folkways catalog for tons of examples of American folk artists.

+ Get in that folk music spirit and pick up an instrument!  Folk music instruments vary widely depending on the region and culture, but popular and inexpensive choices are the ukelele and harmonica.  Maybe you have a guitar collecting dust in the closet?

July 10, 2025

No.933: A Summer Integrated Humanities Program // Week Five

“Edward III Crossing the Somme” by Benjamin West

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission of any sale made at no extra cost to you.

Welcome to Week 5 of the Big White Farmhouse’s Summer Integrated Humanities program!  Today we’re talking about power.

Just jumping in?  You can find the links to the previous weeks here: Week 1 // Week 2 // Week 3 // Week 4

ARTIST OF THE WEEK: BENJAMIN WEST

Benjamin West “was an American-born painter of historical, religious, and mythological subjects who had a profound influence on the development of historical painting in Britain.” (via)

I first learned about Benjamin West when reading the book, Benjamin West and His Cat Grimalkin, to my kids for school.  “Because Benjamin’s family didn’t approve of his art, he had to make his own painting supplies. The local Native Americans taught him how to mix paints from earth, clay, and plants. And his cat, Grimalkin, sacrificed hair from his tail for Ben’s brushes.”  Making paints from natural materials may make an interesting rabbit trail!

“Benjamin Franklin Drawing Electricity from the Sky”
“George III of the United Kingdom”
“Princes William and Edward”

A LITTLE MORE SHAKESPEARE
“Macbeth, Banquo and the Witches” by Henry Fuseli (1794)

Macbeth “is a tragedy by William Shakespeare, estimated to have been first performed in 1606. It dramatises the physically violent and damaging psychological effects of political ambitions and power.” (via)

You can read the play with the book or use it to follow along with this adaptation from the Folger Theatre and Two River Theater Company.


“OZYMANDIAS” BY PERCY SHELLEY

This poem is a metaphor about the fleeting nature of political power.  How transient this life is!  Very thought provoking.  Check out this poem guide for more thoughts.

Ozymandias
by Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.”


OBSERVING THE STARS ONE MORE TIME

This week, we’re going to search the skies for the Summer Triangle stars: Vega, Altair and Deneb.

The three stars of the Summer Triangle appear similar in brightness. Vega in the constellation Lyra the Lyre is the brightest of the trio and the 5th brightest of all stars. In Carl Sagan’s novel “Contact,” Vega is the source of the first message ever received from an alien civilization. The 1997 movie version features actress Jodie Foster’s quest for the senders of the Vega message. Back in the real world, we’ve yet to hear anything from the possible inhabitants of the Vega system, but researchers are listening to Vega and thousands of other stars every day, just in case.

Altair, in Aquila the Eagle, is another Hollywood star. In the 1956 film “Forbidden Planet,” the fourth planet in the Altair system (Altair IV) is home to the relics of an ancient alien civilization and to an eccentric Earth scientist and his beautiful daughter (Walter Pidgeon and Anne Francis). Altair is the 2nd brightest member of the Summer Triangle and the 13th brightest star. We don’t know if Altair is surrounded by any planets, so Altair IV may or may not exist.

Number three in the Summer Triangle and the 20th brightest star is Deneb, which marks the tail of Cygnus the Swan. Alas, Deneb has never starred in a major motion picture, but it has other claims to fame. Whereas Vega and Altair are relatively close to us in astronomical terms—25 and 17 light-years respectively—Deneb is much farther away, an estimated 2,600 light-years from Earth. A light-year is the distance light travels in one year—a big, BIG number!

Read the rest of the article here.  (You can even print a sky map there too.)


MISCELLANEOUS RABBIT TRAILS…
“Date night” by Konstantin Somov

+ The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli has a controversial take on power: the author contends that immoral acts are justifiable if they achieve political glory.  In his view, the end justifies the means.  Do you agree or disagree?

+ The Metamorphoses: Tales of Change audio story series “involve[s] some form of transformation and explore[s] many aspects of human nature: greed, curiosity, vanity, generosity, arrogance, creativity.”

+ Can you find Shakespearean themes in modern-day movies?  This article, 25 Best Movies You Didn’t Realize Are Based on Shakespeare Plays, can help!

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