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The Big White Farmhouse

intentional living, little by little

December 2, 2024

No.873: Last Week at the Farmhouse // Nineteen

“Marriage” by Andrew Wyeth

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission of any sale made at no extra cost to you.

My husband and I celebrated our nineteenth wedding anniversary this week.  Nineteen!  Time flies when you’re having fun.  That’s not to say that our marriage hasn’t had its share of bumps in the road.  We almost quit at one point, but I’m so grateful that we ultimately drew back to each other and kept going.  It reminds me of a quote from G.K. Chesterton about being two stubborn pieces of iron:

Very few people ever state properly the strong argument in favour of marrying for love or against marrying for money. The argument is not that all lovers are heroes and heroines, nor is it that all dukes are profligates or all millionaires cads. The argument is this, that the differences between a man and a woman are at the best so obstinate and exasperating that they practically cannot be got over unless there is an atmosphere of exaggerated tenderness and mutual interest. To put the matter in one metaphor, the sexes are two stubborn pieces of iron; if they are to be welded together, it must be while they are red-hot. Every woman has to find out that her husband is a selfish beast, because every man is a selfish beast by the standard of a woman. But let her find out the beast while they are both still in the story of “Beauty and the Beast.” Every man has to find out that his wife is cross—that is to say, sensitive to the point of madness: for every woman is mad by the masculine standard. But let him find out that she is mad while her madness is more worth considering than anyone else’s sanity.

— G.K. Chesterton, The Common Man 

Nineteen years of living and creating and working together has welded us tightly together.  May we never take each other for granted and may we stubbornly cling to each other in all of life’s storms.  Marriage is a gift.

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ positive updates for all of our in-process shenanigans.  My husband’s skin is healing slowly but nicely after his basal cell carcinoma surgery.  My son’s car was ultimately deemed salvageable and will hopefully be ready to be picked up next week.  As for the hardwood flooring, we hit a snag when our first contractor quoted us an astronomical amount for the repair, but a second opinion brought a much better price point.  Hoping to hear from our insurance and get a plan in place soon.

+ cleaning the house like a fool!  We took Wednesday off from school and I deemed it the perfect time to work on some much overdue chores.  I scrubbed the grout in my shower with this new-to-me tool, I shaved the couch of fuzz and dog hair with this much-used tool and I deep cleaned the kitchen to get ready for Thanksgiving cooking.  A very productive day!

+ rolling with the punches as we still don’t have a usable dining room.  We set up our Thanksgiving table in the living room and ate in front of the fireplace.  So ridiculous but one story we’ll be telling for years to come.

+ finishing up most of my Christmas wrapping!  My goal was to finish all of my shopping before December so actually getting them wrapped was just icing on the cake.  So excited to have a calm and relaxing Advent season.

+ selling three unneeded items for the Car Loan Payoff Plan: a book, a pair of pants and a pair of kids’ snowbibs.  After shipping and fees, I made $15.46.

Reading //

  • The Ignatian Rules of Discernment: A Practical Guide–Introduction from Megan Hjelmstad at Spiritual Direction // “The heart of Saint Ignatius’ Rules is this: in every moment, a great battle is being waged all around us, a battle between good and evil. The object? To win the most valuable territory in the universe—your soul.”
  • When It Feels Like the Plane Might Go Down from Shawn Smucker at The Courage to Live It // “What, then, will have been the point of hoarding anything? Of taking the safe route? Of doing anything other than those things that lift up others, create relationships and community, and leave the world a better place than we found it?”
  • Leninthink from Gary Saul Morson at The New Criterion // A long, but worthwhile read.
  • Friendship in Marriage: What Really Makes a Home from John Cuddeback at Life Craft // “Aristotle saw that true friendship is all about virtue: it is rooted in virtue; it grows through virtue; its goal is virtue. Spouses have the best natural opportunity to discover and enact this reality in a context perfect for friendship but also more than just friendship. Theirs is a relationship intrinsically oriented to generating and cultivating the life of others; and as a sacrament, their relationship takes on even deeper spiritual signification and implications.”

Watching/Listening //

  • 2025 Is Your No Buy Year! How I BOUGHT NOTHING For One Year from Taryn Maria
  • Allow The Book To Change You – Read To Discover Not Validate from Rob Pirie – The Cause

Loving //

  • this card game for aging Millennials // My husband and I bought this on a whim while we were out Christmas shopping.  We’re already considered “Geriatric Millennials” so definitely the target audience.  We laughed so hard.
  • this quote from Richard Winn Livingstone (I need to read his book, A Defense of Classical Education!):

A man who knows the origins of the world in which he lives, looks at it with more understanding, walks in it with securer and more certain steps; he is less intimidated by words, for he knows their history, less inclined to either excessive respect or contempt for existing institutions, for he sees how they came to be there.

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Posted In: Farmhouse Diaries · Tagged: farmhouse diaries, year of abundance

Comments

  1. mbmom11 says

    December 2, 2024 at 8:13 am

    The table in the living room in front of the fireplace is gorgeous and welcoming – it’s a brilliant solution!
    I hope the floor repairs begin soon!

    • Ashley says

      December 2, 2024 at 3:49 pm

      Thank you! It was a tad cramped, but definitely a memory we’ll remember and laugh about!

  2. Melisa says

    December 3, 2024 at 1:15 am

    Happy Anniversary – may you be blessed with many more happy years together! Love the Chesterton quote.
    We’ve moved our table into our living room, and our family room (fam. rm. has a fireplace), so I don’t think it’s so odd. Different from what we’re used to, and now the kids always want to move the furniture around!
    I wish I could say I was done Christmas shopping.
    Have a blessed Advent!
    Melisa

    • Ashley says

      December 4, 2024 at 3:22 pm

      We’re a little snug with all of the living furniture but actually really like having a table in there! Lots of artwork and puzzles being created in the warmest room in the house. 🙂

  3. Shelly+Cunningham says

    December 18, 2024 at 10:52 pm

    Oh Ashley I love that quote so much!
    What a lovely life you have built in your 19 years as a couple. Cheers!

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