No.493: Homemaker Diaries // February 2021

When I embarked on this year of intentional homemaking, I imagined that I would learn things like an efficient cleaning schedule or how to get grass stains out of jeans.  And while I have learned a few helpful tips and tricks so far, I didn’t realize that the books I’ve chosen have also facilitated a lot of heart work.  I’m learning how to be a better me: a better wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.  Hard work, but good work.  Intentional homemaking seems to be much more than clean floors and a decluttered closet.  This month’s highlights:

The Lifegiving Home

One of the ways Clarkson taught relationship-type manners to her family was with the words “Stop! Look! Listen!”  Although this was intended toward children, I found these principles really convicting, especially when I feel distracted and pulled in too many directions:

• Stop! “This is a person created by God…Breathe in the reality that the person right in front of you is more important than the dutiful tasks at hand.”
• Look!  “Observe the person’s personality, age, and needs to determine how you might make his or her life a little better.”
• Listen!  “Most people have a deep desire to be known, understood, and affirmed…Get to know their stories, listen to what they are telling you with their words, emotions, eyes, and body language.”

One more gut-punch quote: “Relationship is not primarily based on just meeting basic needs…but by really looking, really listening, making an honest effort to understand what an individual needs most and then making an effort to meet that need.  This means tearing your eyes away from that computer, hanging up from that phone conversation, and actually looking at your “someone” when he or she enters a room.  Machines may have distracted you from those who long for your attention every day but have become accustomed to your passivity in their lives.  I think one cannot be focused on social media and still meet the longing of others for personal time and attention.  If we want to show real love to someone else, we must carefully consider how to limit its influence.” (p.68-69)

Around the Year with the von Trapp Family

February’s reading was focused on Lent!  Here’s a quote:

“We all should get together and work toward the restoration of the meaning of Lent.  People nowadays see in it just a gloomy time full of ‘must nots.’  That is a great pity, because Lent is a solemn season rich in hidden mysteries.  We must also keep in mind that Lent is only a part of the great Easter season, that it is for Easter what Advent was for Christmas, and that Lent taken by itself would make no more sense than Advent without Christmas at its end.  Therefore, we should let Holy Mother Church take us by the hand and lead us – not each soul alone, but the whole family as a group – away from the noise of the world into a forty-day retreat.” (p.90-91)

This quote, especially the last part about the noise of the world, was really influential in our family’s decision to turn off the screens for Lent 2021.  The television was taken off the wall, the video games tucked away, the Youtube videos put on pause.  We knew that this would be difficult and no one was exactly jumping up and down in anticipation (me included!), but I’m hopeful the silence will foster more creativity, more time outside, and more time for knowledge and prayer.

Another tip in the book was about Lenten reading.  She recommends a reading regimen of three parts: something for the mind, something for the heart, and something for the soul.  Here are my plans (affiliate links ahead!):

• Something for the mind // “This should mean doing serious research.”  I think I’ll choose Reclaiming our Roman Catholic Birthright by Peter Kwasniewski for this one.
• Something for the heart // “…to read a well-written biography of a saint will have the same effect on us as it had once on St. Augustine, who said, after watching saintly people living a holy life: ‘If he could do it, and he, why not I?'”  I’m still working my way through Diaries of the Chinese Martyrs, which is immensely inspiring and influential!  Such faith!  If I finish that one, I’ll start a biography about Blessed Anna-Maria Taigi (my saint from the Saint Generator for 2021) called Wife, Mother & Mystic.
• Something for the soul // “This should be spiritual reading of a high order, from the works of the saints or saintly writers.”  This is where I’ll fit in my “official” reading for Lent 2021: The Dolorous Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ by Anne Catherine Emmerich.