After a beautiful, leisurely Christmas break, the reality of life has hit us smack in the face again: our family pace is a whirlwind, the farm tasks are piling up and appliances keep breaking. (WHY?!) It’s in these moments when I often sit in complete overwhelm. I’m not typically a crier and instead become numb with the weight of it all. There’s so much to do, so much going sideways…where do I even start?!
In 2023, I’m not giving in to the discouragement and overwhelm. This is the year of endurance! Below is my list of little things to combat feeling completely overwhelmed. I wrote this post for me (because goodness, I know I’ll need the reminders!) but maybe it will be helpful for you too. Maybe you’re struggling with depression or just seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Maybe life’s throwing you curveballs all the time too. Maybe it all just feels really, really hard. Whatever is going on, I hope these little tips will help you keep going. One day at a time.
Go outside and take deep breaths.
This is always Step #1. When life feels hard and the challenges keep coming, I stand on the porch, look out at the trees and breathe. Sometimes I pray, sometimes I give myself a little pep talk, sometimes I keep my mind purposefully blank. I don’t know what it is, but the fresh air (and the general quiet) strengthens me enough to keep going.
Clear off one flat surface.
Just one. Maybe it’s the kitchen counter where everyone throws their stuff. Maybe it’s the mudroom shoes all over the floor. Maybe it’s my bedroom dresser, filled with important things I can’t forget or lose. Start with one spot and work until it’s clean and tidy. (I’m a big believer that physical clutter does nothing to help mental health. Less clutter, more calm.)
Throw away five things.
Just five things…although once you get going, you may not be able to stop! Start where the frustration is the worst – where is that one place that has me mumbling under my breath, “I really need to clean that ___.”
Wash something.
A couple dishes, that load of laundry, the windows that haven’t been cleaned in forever…just something.
Start an accomplishment journal.
This is a big one for me when I feel like a big, fat failure. Instead of a mile-long to-do list, where the tasks seem to grow daily without any real forward progress, try an accomplishment journal. Write down the date in any old notebook (or even in the notes app of your phone) and then add those things you DID get to: that one flat surface, those five things you threw away, that thing you washed. This always creates a confidence and momentum. Wake up tomorrow and start again.
Ask for help and/or accept the help of those who love you.
Lastly, if you’re really struggling, don’t be too proud to ask for help. Whether that is from the people under your roof or outside friends/family, most of the people who love you are more than happy to lend a hand. And if they see the suffering and offer help unasked? Humble yourself and take the help gratefully. We all need each other.
What a great list!! Yes… we had a very penitential-ish Advent with sickness, emergency surgery for one of our kids, family issues, and some concerning health diagnosis. I was hoping that we were out of the woods with “bad” news but 2023 is off to a rough start. Two things have been on my lips lately….Good thing i’m catholic i can offer it up, and Have the thought then let it go.
Leaving up our Christmas lights and Going to confession more regularly has helped too!
I’m sorry to hear that the beginning of 2023 has been bumpy for you as well. Be assured of my prayers and encouragement from across the country!
yes to all of these! Sometimes the thing that needs washing is ME! hahaha, a shower always does good for my soul. The going outside almost is always there answer for me too! Love this list – and you!
Oh man, that is so true. Can’t believe I didn’t think of that! After having each baby, a shower was my one non-negotiable task. It always did wonders for my soul too.
Wonderful ideas, Ashley. Know that you’re not alone in the overwhelm. It’s been a – to say the least – really difficult 4 years. My brother passed in January of 2022 (my only brother) and then we had to miss his funeral because of covid. We’ve dealt with anorexia, 2 Type 1 Diabetes diagnoses (add that to the 2 that were previously diagnosed), an autism diagnosis (that makes a 2nd), a car being stolen out of our driveway – and countless other things I can’t go into right now. I’ve also been dealing with anxiety/depression – and seeking treatment for it the past several years (which has helped tremendously). All this to say that life can be really hard – yet there are so many tremendous blessings, and I’m trying mightily to focus on those. (We were blessed with our first Grandson last year!) Given my melancholic tendencies – and my being prone to discouragement – I can only say that somehow God has given me a superabundance of grace to deal with all of it – really.
I didn’t mean that to sound like a pity-party – or to minimize things you’re enduring – just to let you know that you’re not alone. (That has been so important to me to know: That I’m not alone.) That’s where books have been indispensable for me. No matter how hard things get, there’s always hope. somehow.
God bless you and yours!
Melisa
Melisa, thank you so much for sharing some of your hardships with me. Today’s society loves to share the highlight reels of life and I think it’s easy to forget that most people are going through hard things too. Thank goodness for grace and forgiveness and new days to start again. Be assured of my prayers for you and your family!
I’m sorry that life got so overwhelming post-holiday. I understand that completely.
Starting my master’s degree has been overwhelming (to say the least!) and I find that just staying in today helps. If I think of tomorrow or next week, I can start in to panic.
What can I do today? That’s it. Just focus on that.
I love your encouragement for getting outside. I’m not good at this, but it’s 100% true. Every time I get outside I find myself rejuvenated!
Sending you love and strength to get through the winter, friend!
Focusing on today (or even just this week) has been really good for me too. I’ve done my big-vision planning for the year and worked it all the way down into much smaller tasks. Seems to be working and keeping the stress/anxiety at bay!
Great post! My sister died in September and my Mom died last month. I’m in the process of cleaning out Mom’s house so I can sell it and then I’ll go home to L.A. and clean all my sister’s stuff out of the apartment we shared. (Then I need to clean out and sell another house in Florida but that’s a whole other story.)
At first I was going along at a great pace and rhythm, emptying out a closet, taking donations to the drop off. Emptying out the next thing, taking the next batch of donations. Then I got slowed down by snowstorms and ice storms and realtor interviews and rain and now I’m finding it harder and harder to continue at a time when I need to speed up!!! Time’s-a-wastin’! lol It’s Wednesday morning and I’m just now taking the stuff I should’ve taken Monday. I’ll try your standing outside and breathing and looking at the trees trick. Thanks and hope you have a great day!
I completely understand what you’re saying…once you break that streak of progress, it’s so hard to get back into a groove. Wishing you the best as you work on those BIG projects!