No.935: Last (Six) Weeks at the Farmhouse // Hello Again

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Hello!  It’s been awhile.  I first want to thank you so much for all of the incredibly kind comments and prayers as I took my blog break.  Words can’t really describe how much that meant to me.

So what’s been going on?  I guess I should start at the beginning.  Ten days after my first medical incident, I had a terrifying cardiac event with a very high heart rate, resulting in my first ambulance trip and another ER visit.  All tests came back normal and I was so embarrassed.  (I promise I’m not a hypochondriac!)  I had a follow-up appointment at a family practitioner who was also stumped but ordered more bloodwork.  After a week of nervous waiting (and getting progressively worse), the results came back with a “critically low non-anemic iron deficiency”, a 4% iron saturation rate which should ideally be between 15-55%.

I was shocked.  Even with six pregnancies, I have never had iron issues!  What I thought was just a pinched nerve in my neck was actually the beginning of serious neuropathy symptoms due to iron and mineral deficiency.

The follow-up care from the doctor was very disappointing, so I had to figure out a recovery plan on my own.  I eat a lot of healthy meats (perks of farming) so I knew the quantity of iron wasn’t the issue, but most likely the absorption.  I immediately started iron supplementation.  I put myself on a strict diet (mostly paleo with some low-FODMAP/gluten-free foods for variety and everything timed correctly around my pills) to make sure gluten, dairy and tannins would not inhibit the absorption.  I weaned myself off of most coffee.  I researched everything from PubMed papers to Reddit threads and learned about iron and its connections with chronic stress, low stomach acid, intestinal permeability and mineral deficiencies.  Basically, I was a hot mess and had a lot of work to do!

My “first day of healing” began on June 27th and the recovery has been slow going.  There were many days that felt like an infuriating dance of one step forward and two steps back.  It has been incredibly hard on my mental health but I kept telling myself that every day is one step closer to feeling well.  I have a follow-up lab appointment on August 5 to see how the iron supplementation is working and am praying for some positive progress.

So yeah…my garden is completely overgrown, my home needs a deep clean, my medical bills are sure to be staggering and I have accomplished basically nothing for weeks, but I’m slowly healing and that’s what matters most.  I’ll figure out the rest later.

Six weeks of good things:

1. Calming activities. // One of my persistent symptoms has been persistent heaviness/stiffness/aching/tingling in my arms and legs.  Because I can’t seem to get comfortable, I am easily agitated and fidgety.  So frustrating!  I am also struggling with anxiety caused by the iron deficiency.  To combat these problems, I turned to all the calming distractions I could muster: working on old word puzzle and word search activity books, creating paper collages from all sorts of odds and ends, and listening to peaceful background music.  (Retro Sleep videos were a frequent choice as well as the rosary sung in Gregorian Chant.)
2. Taking a long pause on the farm. // Our fox problem has only intensified this summer and by early July, we sadly lost all of our hens.  So as of now, our farm is on hiatus for the time being.  It’s bittersweet but also feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
3. Dealing with unaddressed stress and grief. // Part of this healing process required a head-on look at the things I have been pushing deep down inside.  Lots of tears, which was unexpected from this analytical robot (ha), but cathartic and healing too.
4. Homeschool planning almost done! // I invested in a subscription to Homeschool Planet and got almost an entire school year’s worth of planning done in one month!  Cannot recommend enough if you’re juggling the education of a lot of kids and seem to always have things come up that quickly mess up all of your hard work.
5. Learning about magnesium’s role in the body. // I took a deep dive on this subject (some interesting links: here and here and here) and it is really fascinating!  I originally tried to supplement with Natural Vitality Calm powder, but my stomach couldn’t handle it.  In a last-ditch effort, I bought transdermal magnesium (I ordered this one on a recommendation from my mom) and it was a game changer!  It’s now a part of my nightly routine.
6. Books I read or am currently reading. //
   1. Poor Banished Children by Fiorella De Maria // Well written, but it had a Kristin Hannah level of unrelenting suffering.  It made me think a lot about freedom and suffering and the power of God’s mercy.
   2. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley // Not my favorite dystopian novel, but thought-provoking.
   3. The Dirty Life: A Memoir of Farming, Food, and Love by Kristin Kimball // I have never felt more seen than when reading this book.  This followed the author’s experience of starting a new farm and the unrelenting, expensive work it involves.  Nothing more satisfying, nothing more difficult.  Farming often gets reduced to rose-colored glasses and it was nice to see that our experience was more common than people think.  Starting a farm is HARD.
   4. Kristin Lavransdatter by Sigrid Undset // Currently reading.  In the past, I have always put this book off because it’s over 1000 pages and I have those reading goals to accomplish (so stupid…).  This time, I decided to dive in anyway.  So glad I did; I’m quite invested in the story now.
   5. Confessions by Saint Augustine // Currently reading.  So good.
7. A boot camp graduation! // The most exciting news is that we attended my oldest son’s United States Marine Corps boot camp graduation!  He enlisted in January and has been gone since April.  I have kept this news quiet and close to my heart because people have many opinions about the military and some comments have been quite cruel.
   I come from a strong Marine Corps family and the foundational values of what makes it great run deep in my veins.  My husband and I have raised our children to respect themselves and others, to have a servant’s heart and to do each task to the best of their ability.  Those lessons are critical for all walks of life, but my oldest son went one step further.  He will be continuing the tradition, the fourth generation in our family to wear the uniform!  I am the granddaughter, daughter, wife and sister of United States Marines.  Now I can claim the title of mother too.  We are so proud.