No.410: Five Years // Looking Back, Looking Forward

Around this time, five years ago in 2015:
I had five children, ages 8 to 8 months.
I was homeschooling the oldest two and had discovered that my second son most likely had dyslexia.
We lived in a house that wasn’t our forever home and were on the lookout for a property with land.
Mark was unhappy with his job, but was having trouble finding something new.
Life was sometimes overwhelming, but we felt so hopeful for the future and it was simple and good.

Mother’s Day 2015, my oldest was still in the restaurant paying the bill with Mark when the nicest lady offered to take our picture

If I could talk to 2015 me, I’d tell her that in the next five years:

• She would have a surprise sixth pregnancy, one that initially made her cry, but would turn out to be one of the biggest blessings of her life.
• Her oldest three boys would try public school, have a less than positive experience, and would be back to homeschooling the following year.  She would have much more confidence in her abilities as a teacher.
• She would find and move to the house of her dreams on five acres.
• She would close the Big White Farmhouse Shop and have complete peace about it.
• She would lose both of her grandmothers in the same year.
• In order to fix lingering hormonal issues, she would have to give up running and stick to walking instead.
• Mark would eventually find a job he loves.
• Having six kids is just as fun and crazy as five kids, just a lot louder.
• They would buy a puppy and she would love that thing silly, even with the shedding and the poop and the naughty antics.
• Her life would be messy and full as she juggled everyone’s emotions and schedules from preschoolers to teens.  She still wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Oh and in 2020, there would be a global pandemic that shook everybody and everything.  

Mother’s Day 2020, quarantine edition

I know 2025 me will look back on these times with nostalgia, just like I do about our life back in 2015.  The me of the future will be navigating the feelings of having a graduating 18-year-old son and what that means as he leaves our home and goes out into the world.  Our youngest will be in the second grade and receiving his First Communion.  We’ll be in the thick of school and extracurricular activities, learning to drive and weekend jobs.  Mark and I will start to see the future of our babies leaving the nest and it will fill us with excitement (for them) and sadness (for us).  The me of 2025 will be turning 41 and hopefully still in good health. I hope she’ll embrace her gray hairs, soft belly and wrinkles around her eyes.  She’ll probably be saving her pennies for the library of her dreams (floor-to-ceiling bookshelves!) and chipping away at the mortgage so they can truly call themselves debt free.  She will be obsessed with her garden, her husband’s laughter and creating beauty from the mundane.  I imagine there will be a lot of flowers planted and home projects happening.

I can’t wait to meet the me of 2025, but until then, I hope these days go slowly.  I have cheeks I need to kiss, hands I need to hold and a whole lot of laughing and listening to do in the meantime.