The Big White Farmhouse

intentional living, little by little

No.411: 2020 Gratitude // 23

A new series for 2020: if I record 20 things every week, I’ll have over 1,000 items by December 31.  
That’s a lot to be grateful for.

wildflowers everywhere
the birth of a new baby cousin!
that my plants are growing like crazy
eating the very first blueberry from the bush 
silly home movies made by siblings 
a summer screen policy that has reignited imagination and creativity
an avocado seed thiiiis close to growing a new root system
another book that exposes me to a world outside my own
ice cream cones on a hot day
a time to listen and learn
quiet inspirations from the Holy Spirit
advice from a priest to reflect on James 1:19 – “…everyone should be quick to hear, slow to speak…”
morning sunshine
watching TJ confidently ride on a bicycle (with training wheels)
extra-curricular activities that are starting to resume
a dog who never leaves my side
watching the kids learn to blow a bubble with bubblegum
a school table covered in markers and artwork
when everyone is doing their own thing and the house is quiet for a little bit
iced coffee in the afternoon

No.410: Five Years // Looking Back, Looking Forward

A few months ago, my friend Tabitha wrote a post called “The Five Year Plan Revisited” and this is my version.  

Around this time, five years ago in 2015:
I had five children, ages 8 to 8 months.
I was homeschooling the oldest two and had discovered that my second son most likely had dyslexia.
We lived in a house that wasn’t our forever home and were on the lookout for a property with land.
Mark was unhappy with his job, but was having trouble finding something new.
Life was sometimes overwhelming, but we felt so hopeful for the future and it was simple and good.

Mother’s Day 2015, my oldest was still in the restaurant paying the bill with Mark when the nicest lady offered to take our picture

If I could talk to 2015 me, I’d tell her that in the next five years:

  • She would have a surprise sixth pregnancy, one that initially made her cry, but would turn out to be one of the biggest blessings of her life.
  • Her oldest three boys would try public school, have a less than positive experience, and would be back to homeschooling the following year.  She would have much more confidence in her abilities as a teacher.
  • She would find and move to the house of her dreams on five acres.
  • She would close the Big White Farmhouse Shop and have complete peace about it.
  • She would lose both of her grandmothers in the same year.
  • In order to fix lingering hormonal issues, she would have to give up running and stick to walking instead.
  • Mark would eventually find a job he loves.
  • Having six kids is just as fun and crazy as five kids, just a lot louder.
  • They would buy a puppy and she would love that thing silly, even with the shedding and the poop and the naughty antics.
  • Her life would be messy and full as she juggled everyone’s emotions and schedules from preschoolers to teens.  She still wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Oh and in 2020, there would be a global pandemic that shook everybody and everything.  

Mother’s Day 2020, quarantine edition

I know 2025 me will look back on these times with nostalgia, just like I do about our life back in 2015.  The me of the future will be navigating the feelings of having a graduating 18-year-old son and what that means as he leaves our home and goes out into the world.  Our youngest will be in the second grade and receiving his First Communion.  We’ll be in the thick of school and extracurricular activities, learning to drive and weekend jobs.  Mark and I will start to see the future of our babies leaving the nest and it will fill us with excitement (for them) and sadness (for us).  The me of 2025 will be turning 41 and hopefully still in good health. I hope she’ll embrace her gray hairs, soft belly and wrinkles around her eyes.  She’ll probably be saving her pennies for the library of her dreams (floor-to-ceiling bookshelves!) and chipping away at the mortgage so they can truly call themselves debt free.  She will be obsessed with her garden, her husband’s laughter and creating beauty from the mundane.  I imagine there will be a lot of flowers planted and home projects happening.

I can’t wait to meet the me of 2025, but until then, I hope these days go slowly.  I have cheeks I need to kiss, hands I need to hold and a whole lot of laughing and listening to do in the meantime.

No.409: The Wednesday Five #12

Looking back at May with my five today:

A QUOTE

Love and sacrifice are closely linked, like the sun and the light. We cannot love without suffering and we cannot suffer without love. – Saint Gianna Molla

MAY HIGHLIGHTS 

+ We completed our required standardized testing for the state and school is officially out for summer!
+ Mark and the boys finished garden fence construction just in time for Mother’s Day.  It was so overwhelming to see my little plan come to life that I cried and they all made fun of me, ha!
+ I planted almost everything I needed to, but had to get creative due to the lockdown.  I ordered all of my tomato and pepper seedlings in the mail and was pleasantly surprised by how healthy most of them looked when they arrived. 
+ I hit a wall with my mental health and had a hard couple of weeks, but am fighting my way back.  

FAVORITE RECIPES FROM LAST MONTH

  • Blueberry Peach Cobbler.  I made a double batch of our favorite summertime dessert and it was still gone in minutes.
  • Skillet Rice and Beans with Kielbasa.  I like this recipe because it uses cheap staple ingredients, is fast to make and it’s delicious.    
  • My New Oatmeal Concoction.  I got a little crazy and tried something new: I warm up cinnamon and spice oatmeal, then swirl in a big spoonful of pumpkin puree and sprinkle a handful of raisins and nuts on top.  It tastes like fall in a bowl and really keeps me full.  I’ve eaten it every morning since.

2020 GOALS UPDATE

  • ✔ I want to spend time with God everyday.  I unintentionally took a break from my Bible plan but started again at the end of the month.  As of May 31, I was on day 281/365.  I’m also still reading Saint Faustina’s Diary – almost done!  
    • ✔ I want to keep on, keepin’ on with our debt freedom journey.  These times are so uncertain that we’ve been doing a little bit of everything with any extra money including adding to our savings and starting to replenish supplies in our emergency closet.  We did make a small extra payment on a student loan – every little bit helps.  We’re getting closer!
    • ✔ I want to hand write 52 pieces of mail. My first 2020 goal completely done!  Mother’s Day thankfully helped me boost the numbers because I hit a wall after that.  I sent out 11 pieces.  (Here is the post.)  Current total = 56
    • ✔ I want to write 150 blog posts.  I posted 15 times, which seems decent.  Current total = 80 
    • ✔ I want to read 52 books.  I read 7 books. (Here is the post.)  Current total = 39
    • ✘ I want to take the first steps for postpartum doula certification.  Put on hold for now.
    • ✔ I want to create a family culture of generosity.  We’re keepin’ on with our 20/20 Giving but are anxious to give more of our time and talent as things start to re-open again:
      • May’s $20 Donation // We donated again to our local food bank.
      • May’s 20 Minutes of Time and Talent // Mark is keeping his men’s group alive with texts and virtual meetings

      MAY 2020 IN NUMBERS

      + Loads of Laundry: 41
      + Loaves of Bread Made: 30
      + Total Hours Spent Outside: 35
      + Money Spent on Groceries: a gazillion dollars (but seriously, so much money)

      No.408: Intentions for the Beginning of June

      “Every analysis must necessarily start from the premise that—although each person lives in a particular concrete social and historical context—every human being is endowed with a dignity that must never be lessened, impaired or destroyed but must instead be respected and safeguarded, if peace is really to be built up.”
      – Pope John Paul II, Address to the General Assembly of the United Nations Oct. 2, 1979

      INTENTIONS FOR THE BEGINNING OF JUNE

      • get dressed in “real” clothes every day (I’ve been living in workout clothes…minus the workout)
      • stay strong with our new “no screens from 9 to 3” weekday policy
      • go through my recipe printouts and make at least four things
      • paint my toes
      • fertilize the tomatoes
      • research natural/frugal ways to deal with garden pests
      • paint the inside of the fence
      • pull out the branches and shrubs in the spot where we want to hang the hammock
      • edge the new flower beds around the garden
      • chat with Mark under the twinkling lights on our deck (after the kids go to bed)
      • get back to my self-defense course and complete one lesson
      • support a small business

      PREVIOUS INTENTIONS

      If you’re reading in a reader, be sure to click over to see what I checked off the list!
      • order and hang a hammock (put on hold until we tear down a few shrubs and things in the way)
      • plant lemongrass for the back porch
      • plant tomatoes and peppers
      • finish clearing away the fallen trees and branches in the yard (this is the task that never ends!  we just keep adding more work for ourselves)
      • finish painting the fence (super close to being done with the outside)
      • powerwash the siding (100LT #6)
      • read another ARC due for Netgalley (I’m about 25% finished)
      • read 25+ pages in The Last Art of Reading Nature’s Signs
      • read the library books I have and then take a break from borrowing new ones 
      • have the big boys break ground around the garden perimeter for flower beds
      • collect eggshells for a natural fertilizer
      • work on revamping our emergency closet to fit a new space
      • finish up my DIY chalkboard and “season” the paint (this turned into a huge fiasco, so I’m back to square one)

      Less Materialism, More Intentional Living

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