The Big White Farmhouse

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There seems to be lots of discussion online lately around “trad wives.”  I’m not on social media and am out of the loop so I don’t know the full extent of the issue, but – as usual – my thoughts are probably outside those strongly drawn lines.  (I’ll beat this drum all day long: You don’t have to believe in binary thinking!  Resist the boxes!)  Here’s my big picture take: an educated woman, whether at work or at home, can only make the world a better place.

A career-oriented woman can be “educated” but not necessarily wise.  A homemaker can also lack this wisdom.  It’s a tragedy for both.  So what do we do?  We stop being defensive.  We stop taking other people’s choices/opinions personally.  We stop attacking the other side.  And then we get down to the arduous task of learning.

You don’t need a college degree to read.  In today’s day and age, the library is free and used books are super cheap.  The pursuit of wisdom is right at your fingertips if you desire it!  And in my opinion, the rewards are enormous.

A woman who reads understands more of the complexities of the world.
A woman who reads learns the history of the past so as not to repeat it in the present.
A woman who reads sits at the feet of great thinkers and molds her views accordingly.
A woman who reads can identify bias, propaganda and lies.
A woman who reads wrestles with current issues in a much deeper way.

To me, the argument between women who stay home and women who work is just silly. The bigger question for me is…do you read?

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ making our yearly batch of tallow from beef fat.  Another amazing example of making something from “trash.”

+ four new little piglets on the farm!  Our gilts will be ready for breeding in late fall, but we needed an intermediary set of pigs to raise in the meantime.  They are tiny and adorable and we can’t wait to find out their personalities.

+ selling twelve unneeded items for a new challenge that I’m calling the Car Loan Payoff Plan.  (Nobody likes to talk about it, so I will: I hate debt and it causes me a lot of stress.  With the success of the Farm Sitter Vacation Fund, I’m encouraged to keep going so that I can help remove some of this mental burden.)  Anyway, this week, I sold two pieces of clothing, eight books, an address book and a Disneyland autograph book from the 1990’s.  After shipping and fees, I made $219.24!

Reading //

• Building People with Three-Dimensional Memory from Ruth and Peco Gaskovski at School of the Unconformed // I LOVED this.
• Five Poems Every Catholic Should Memorize from Julian Kwasniewski at Tradition & Sanity // “The marvelous thing about poetry is that it allows us to get in on another’s moment of wonder; and then we have a little piece of his wonder to view the world through. Imagine each great poem you learn as if it is a sliver of stained glass: once your pocket is full of them, you have many lenses you can view the world through.”
• A People Without Culture: What the End of Reading Truly Means from Nadya Williams at Providence Magazine // “This loss of culture, both oral and written, has significant implications for how any human society, let alone a democracy, functions. How do you communicate with other flesh and blood people with neither the ability to read nor listen deeply? This is a civilization-destroying kind of crisis.”
• Want of Wonder: Seven Suggestions for Becoming More Childlike from Michael Warren Davis at Hearth and Field

New Additions to The List // 

• The Devil’s Advocate by Morris L. West
• How to Read Churches: A Crash Course in Ecclesiastical Architecture by Denis R. McNamara
• A Place of My Own: The Architecture of Daydreams by Michael Pollan

Watching/Listening //

• Schubert / Symphony No. 5 in B-flat major, D. 485
• Inferno Cantos 1-12 of 100 Days of Dante from Baylor Honors College // I am enjoying this so much!
• Session Two of Wit, Learning, and Virtue: The Legacy of Civil Servant, Thomas More course from Belmont Abbey College

Loving //

• these cooling towels // So nice to wrap around your head or neck when working outside.  The heat has been unbearable lately!

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Beauty seems to be a theme I continue to dwell upon in 2024.  Lately, I’ve been thinking of this quote from a few weeks ago in terms of my home:

If the world is pretty, it tells man something about the world and his place in it; it confers a hopeful and reverent tone and demands that he do well to guard against decay, disorder, or pure industrialized pragmatism. However, if the world is ugly, it tells a man that he ought not even notice; he ought not bother to care; there’s nothing worth saving anyway. – On the Texture of Things Past from Daxxton McGee at Circe Institute

I’m still in the throes of a deep declutter, arguably the most ruthless pass through I’ve ever done, and have been pondering what my “end goal” should look like.  I’m not a minimalist, but I am looking for more than just a clutter-filled house with tons of items we don’t need.  I want a beautiful home, but not one defined by unrealistic influences (ie, the Internet, someone’s home that doesn’t have kids/a farm/dogs, etc).  All in all, I think I desire a home that is peaceful and ultimately inspires beauty.

But here’s the conundrum: we don’t have a ton of money for home projects and renovations and brand new furniture right now.  So can I make what I already have beautiful?  Fresh flowers on the table, books in every room, clean linens and family photographs…little bits of beauty-full things that don’t cost a thing.  I think it’s a worthy challenge.

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ breaking out an extra Japanese beetle trap that I bought last year because…they’re baaaaack!  Fortunately, I think I installed the trap in time to avoid the total destruction of my apple trees.

+ the first potatoes of the season!  Delicious.

+ selling ten unneeded items for the Farm Sitter Vacation Fund: five pieces of clothing, a book, a piece of homeschool curriculum, two purses and a set of train tracks.  After shipping and fees, I made $76.35 and have finally reached my goal!  Another huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

Reading //

• Papa Pete’s Patriarchy from Dr. Kevin D. Roberts at First Things // “Piety is a weight. It is a sense of responsibility. It is knowing what we owe to others on account of what we have been given. It is gratitude for what we inherited. It is ‘the wise man’ who ‘knows himself as debtor’ and is ‘inspired by a deep sense of obligation,’ in the words of Bertrand de Jouvenel. It is what the Romans called pietas and considered chief of the virtues—the most essential to their republic.”
• The Poetics of Family Life from Davin Heckman at Front Porch Republic // “Billions of lowly people, each with a singular existence and intricately woven mind, lovingly created with a unique immortal soul, exist as a testimony to the tendency towards fecundity and freedom that is part of our world.”
• The Bookshelf: Gifts of Friendship from Matthew J. Franck at Public Discourse // I would love to start the tradition of “birthday books” with someone!
• Why Read Homer’s Iliad? from Cheryl Lowe at Memoria Press // “But the Iliad, we discover, is a book about the Civil War. It is a book about all wars, about the people and characters that you find in every war—and in every town—the wise, the foolish, the clever, the noble, the base, the ambitious, the old, and the young. It is about their pettiness, their heroism, their adventures, their sacrifices, and their sufferings. The Iliad is mostly about people, not war, and it gives us unforgettable and universal character types.”

New Additions to The List // 

• The Practice of Everyday Life, Vol.2 by Michel de Certeau
• Dopesick: Dealers, Doctors, and the Drug Company That Addicted America by Beth Macy
• Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions Into Adulthood by Lisa Damour

Watching/Listening //

• Session One of Wit, Learning, and Virtue: The Legacy of Civil Servant, Thomas More course from Belmont Abbey College
• 100 Days of Dante: Join the World’s Largest Dante Reading Group by Baylor Honors College // So excited to start this next.

Loving //

• our new watering system for the pigs! // We had a major heatwave this week so perfect timing.

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission of any sale made at no extra cost to you.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the concept of enemies.  I’ve been reading the current news stories about skirmishes and wars around the world.  I’ve also been reading about past conflicts in history and the lasting repercussions of war on a person’s psyche.  I’ve touched on the “culture wars” and the many factions that seem to keep society separated from each other.

I’m still wrestling with all of this information, but the overarching theme seems to be that we are encouraged to dehumanize people who disagree with us.  Social media and the news and even politicians push us to pick one side – you’re either Team A or Team B!  We’re pitted against each other, we look at people with hatred and disgust, we hold people to a standard higher than we do ourselves.  And sadly, the less you see the humanity of a person, the easier it is to devalue them or even wish their death.  What is happening to us as a society?  As a culture?

I believe that we are more than a sound bite, more than a 280-character tweet, more than one photo with a tiny caption. We are all people struggling to make sense of a complex world. Our backgrounds and experiences are vast and varied and we often come to different conclusions. That is okay! That is the human experience. You are not an automaton, you are not a machine, you don’t have to agree with everyone else!  We don’t have to be enemies. I’m fighting that societal pressure and I hope you will too.

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ air-drying laundry (still!) as we continue to figure out the dryer issue.  I did purchase a second drying rack because the laundry piles were getting huge.

+ securing a dog boarder for our vacation!  We found her through Rover and had a meet-and-greet with her and the dogs.  She was so warm and welcoming and the dogs were right at home at her house – even Samson, who hates all strangers!  This is a huge weight lifted from my shoulders; I know they’ll be in great hands while we’re gone.

+ big, healthy hydrangea bushes!  Two years ago, I envisioned a line of hydrangeas around our front porch but could only afford the tiny, potted bareroots.  With patience comes great reward!  They are growing so well and are just gorgeous.

+ a young buck who seems to like hanging out in our backyard near the chicken run.  My youngest has named him Ezra.

+ selling ten unneeded items for the Farm Sitter Vacation Fund: eight books, a DVD and a sweater.  After shipping and fees, I made $25.40.  I’m hitting a bit of a reselling wall (I’ve been listing steadily since late February!) so I took a bit of a break.  Even so, this was an exciting week because I’m getting so, so close to my financial goal.  Really hoping to cross that threshold soon!

Reading //

• this quote from Hum If You Don’t Know the Words by Bianca Marais:

It is not my place to speak in this setting.  Even if it was, there is no point in telling these men that I do not condone violence.  I have always believed, and still do, that violence begets more violence.  We are relics of a bygone era, those of us who support passive resistance.  The younger ones do not believe that the meek shall inherit the earth.  They insist the struggle must be an armed one because the only way to overthrow the white minority who keep the black majority in chains is with force.

But what quality of freedom will it be if it is won with blood?  And after that?  Once our rage has boiled and we have taken the life force of our enemies, have we not become the very people we have fought against, the ones who use violence against us?  If we ever taste victory, will our fighters lower their fists and live in peace or will they always be looking for the next conflict?  I despair that we are all becoming murderers, white and black alike, and that we will never be able to wipe this blood from our hands.  I pray that I am wrong. (p.96)

• Cocktails, Commitments, and Crafting Conversation from Ben Christenson at Hearth and Field // “Sherry Turkle describes the ‘rule of three’ in modern group socializing: so long as at least three people have their heads up, people feel license to check their phone and temporarily drop out. The resulting conversation is disjointed and shallow, limping along but unable to achieve any complexity or depth. It’s a ‘tragedy of the conversations,’ if you will. No one feels responsible, so everyone seeks their own pleasure while the shared conversation suffers.”  His ideas to encourage conversation without phones is great.
• The Contemplative Reader from Leigh Lowe at Memoria Press // “Contemplation is a bridge that leads from knowledge (comprehension) to wisdom and helps us use what we have learned to pursue virtue and avoid vice.”

New Additions to The List // 

• Stalin’s Daughter: The Extraordinary and Tumultuous Life of Svetlana Alliluyeva by Rosemary Sullivan
• The Whisperers: Private Life in Stalin’s Russia by Orlando Figes

Watching/Listening //

• 8 Books You Should Read To Save Society – Before It’s Too Late… from Rob Pirie – The Cause //  I definitely want to participate in the close reading of this series.

Loving //

• this indoor plug-in fly trap // Started as a Home Depot impulse buy, but now I’m in love!  So helpful to combat the flies and other bugs that manage to get into this farmhouse.
• Sudoku // Trying to keep this brain of mine sharp.  You can even play online.
• “Learn all you can about various subjects because it can make for a very interesting life. It is like being on an everyday adventure that makes us want to know more.” // Wise advice from Grandma Donna.