The Big White Farmhouse

When I chose this book to lead for the Inspired Readers Book Club, I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into.  I love a good experiment-type memoir and the premise sounded interesting.  I had no idea that this one book would turn my world upside down (in a good way)!


The Winter of Our Disconnect: How Three Wired Teenagers (and a Mother Who Slept with Her iPhone) Pulled the Plug on Their Technology and Lived to Tell the Tale is the story of a family’s six month experiment to live without technology.  Written much like Gretchen Rubin’s Better than Before, Maushart weaves her personal experience with studies and observations.  I found the entire book fascinating and I have an underlined and written-in book to prove it!  


It would be impossible to write about every section that stood out to me, but here are a few:


+ BOREDOM   

Boredom is a big issue for parents today. Not just listening to kids complain about boredom-but responding to those complaints. Taking responsibility for those complaints. And, perhaps above all, throwing technology at those complaints. Somewhere along the line, providing “stimulation” became a key aspect of our job description. The belief that a stimulated child is an advantaged child is so widely shared we rarely bother to articulate it. So too, of course, is its corollary: that a bored child is an at-risk child. In fact, the moral imperative to keep our kids occupied or suffer the consequences is one of those unexamined articles of faith that has helped to make modern parenting such a minefield of misplaced guilt and misdirected resources. (p.70)

The section on boredom was really encouraging to me.  It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like I must be the “cruise director” of activities for my children.  One look at Pinterest and I know I’m not the only one.  But do we really have to?  I found it interesting that boredom is typically self-constructed, but can be the catalyst for imagination and creativity.  She also claims that “too much choice” can induce boredom and I’ve found that to be true.  Since reading this, we have decluttered our playroom significantly, only leaving the tried and true favorites.  I also made sure to restock our art supplies (they love to draw and create, so I’ve stocked our paper, colored pencils, watercolors, etc.) and have watched as their “boredom” turns into a masterpiece. 


+ BEING CONSTANTLY CONNECTED

Nick Thompson of Wired magazine observes, “There are a lot of people who have a problematic relationship with these devices, where the device becomes the master and they become the servant. (p.104)

While I think I’m doing an okay job at regulating the amount of screentime my children get each week, this book definitely showed the plank in my own eye, if you know what I mean.  I was quick to justify it as checking in on Big White Farmhouse or expecting an important e-mail, but let’s be honest.  There was a whole lot of “checking in” going on during the day and most of it was unnecessary.  Since reading, I’ve been on a mission to change my habits.  I no longer carry my phone around the house and it’s funny: out of sight, out of mind.  I also try to be conscious about why I’m on technology, reducing the mindless scrolling.   


+ FACEBOOK AND “FRIENDSHIP”

The information paradox – that the more data we have, the stupider we become – has a social corollary, too: that the more frantically we connect, to one another, the more disconnected our friendships become. (p.185)

This part made me so sad for us as a society and I became aware of my own shortcomings in this area too.  How many times have I had a friend come to mind and instead of calling or writing a letter, I just peek at her Facebook page and call it good?  Since reading, I’m more inspired than ever to seek community and really invest in my family and friends.

This is really just the tip of the iceberg.  There is so much to consider and think about, both in my own life and the lives of my kids.  If you ever read it, let me know!  I could talk about it for hours! 


A few other links to check out:
What Happens When There’s No Internet
From the New York Times: Stop Googling.  Let’s Talk.
Connected, but Alone?
From CNN: #Being13: Teens and Social Media
An interview with the author about this book: Susan Maushart, the author of The Winter of our Disconnect