The Big White Farmhouse

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I was skimming through my planner and noticed the phrase “Little Moments of Delight” jotted into one of the weekly margins.  Hmm…where did that come from?  What did I mean by that?  There was no further explanation, no context.  Out of the brain and out of my memory, I guess.  Regardless of why I wrote it, the little phrase definitely stuck with me as I went about my week, a type of seek-and-find prompt!  Here’s what I found:

Daffodil stems bursting through the ground.  “Puzzling” with my children.  The way the chickens run to me when I come into the barnyard.  Sunshine after rain.  Seeing my husband’s car pull into the driveway at the end of the day.  The pigs’ joy when they enter new pasture.  Watching the sunset.  Waking up to a notice that something has sold.  When the lights come back on after a five hour power outage.  The kids’ excitement as we plan our summer vacation.  Clean sheets.  A pile of new (to us) books in the mailbox.

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ cleaning and decluttering and organizing the garage in preparation for chicks.  I was a woman on a mission and even went through a handful of bins and boxes that have sat in one spot for years!  One trip to the dump later and we have a good as new garage!  Highlight of the day: I found a bin full of my childhood yearbooks and sports memorabilia and the kids wanted a peek.  My two youngest were super impressed with my elementary/middle school softball trophies, ha!

+ having plenty of time to think through and prepare for a vacation this summer…or that’s what I’m telling myself anyway!  There are so many moving parts to leaving a farm and then I have to add in the fact that we haven’t gone on a big trip in years – do we even have enough luggage?!  Lots of lists and to-dos written this week.  I also started a challenge for myself to raise the extra money for a farm sitter.  (It’s going to cost more to leave the farm than it will be to go on the actual vacation!)  For months, I’ve been throwing things I’d like to resell in a bin and now’s the time to get listing!  My goal is to raise as close to the full amount we need as possible.  Current total for the Farm Sitter Vacation Fund: $90.61!

+ finding clothes for one son in the hand-me-down bins.  As the boys get older, my clothes “stash” starts to dwindle, but I did have a handful of nice things for him to wear.  A trip to the store is in order, but every little bit saved counts!

+ creating a fort from a ripped fitted sheet.  The sheet was finally beyond repair but I asked the little kids if they wanted to make a fort with it before it got tossed.  (Or possibly deconstructed for fabric.)  They played in that thing for days!

+ taking advantage of a member sale on ThredUp.  I found many great spring/summer pieces for my daughter and a few dresses for me.  (If you go through this link, you can get 45% off + free shipping on your first order and I’ll get a credit when it ships.  We both win!)

Reading //

• The Great Unsettling from Paul Kingsnorth at The Abbey of Misrule // I just discovered this Substack and am going through his body of work.  This was from the first essay:

‘Our age is so poisoned by lies’, wrote Weil, ‘that it converts everything it touches into a lie.’ Everything deeper, older and truer than the workings and values of the Machine has been, or is in the process of being, scoured away from us. We turned away from a mythic, rooted understanding of the world, and turned away from the divine, in order to look at ourselves reflected in the little black mirrors in our hands. Some people are quite happy with this, and have no time for Romantic Luddites like myself when we lament it. Even we Romantic Luddites are here on the Internet, lamenting. But some day soon we will all have to look up and begin to turn back again. I have a feeling that this process has already begun.

• Don’t Just Talk About Unplugging: Actually Unplug by Tsh at The Commonplace // “This is all I’m saying… Yes, tell others to unplug from The Machine. But make sure you do it, too. Don’t live and breathe your work here on Substack. Don’t care about growing your audience here to the sacrifice of the things that really, truly matter to you. Say what you feel compelled to say, and then get offline.”  Good advice for writers and readers alike.
• Database Indicates U.S. Food Supply Is 73 Percent Ultra-Processed from Foodtank // Yikes.  Be sure to check out the website they created too.

The findings shocked Giulia Menichetti, Senior Research Scientist at the Network Science Institute at Northeastern University, and senior author of the papers. “It surprised me how a considerable amount of highly processed food is mistakenly considered healthy because the public narrative still focuses on one nutrient at a time, instead of evaluating food as a whole,” Menichetti tells Food Tank.

• Tabitha’s family cell phone policy at Team Studer // It’s truly the wild west out there in technology-land and we’re all doing our best navigating this world for our kids.  Our cell phone policy is a bit different than hers, but I love hearing the different ways families are tackling this issue.  What’s the policy at your house?

Watching/Listening //

• OFF FOR LENT

Loving //

• Berry Medley Ricola // My turn with the sore throat this week.
• pulling out this Ravensburger puzzle to complete again // It’s called “Midnight at the Library.”  I love all of the little details.
• the story of St. Frances of Rome from Once Upon a Time Saints // I felt such consolation reading about her vocation of motherhood.
• A Letter for My Mom // I was so saddened to hear of Sarah’s death, but what an incredible legacy she left.  The memories her children have of her are so beautiful.

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“I could never…”  I’ve heard that phrase so many times throughout my adult life.  “I could never have six kids.”  “I could never homeschool.”  “I could never move out to the middle of nowhere.”  “I could never give up my streaming services.”  “I could never run a homestead.”  Although most people have good intentions, I’ve always bristled at these statements because it’s implies that I’m something special, that I have some super power that’s different from everyone else.  Uh no.  You can do anything – even things you never imagined you’d do! – if you want it bad enough.

But I’m here to admit that I broke my own rule.  I’m eating crow.  I’m currently doing the one thing I publicly said I would never do: I’m eating carnivore…and I’m thriving.

The carnivore way of eating has been in our family since January 2023, when I stumbled upon a video from Jess at Roots & Refuge Farm.  In it, she described some of her health issues and how the carnivore diet was helping.  At this time, my poor husband was also dealing a handful of debilitating health issues.  When I mentioned the video to him, he jumped on board.  What did he have to lose?  Everything he had done thus far had not worked.

And he thrived.  He lost a ton of weight (70lbs!) but more importantly, his painful and debilitating gout is gone, he no longer needs to sleep with a CPAP machine, his seasonal allergies are minimal and his plethora of gut issues have resolved.  His blood work is almost in all perfect ranges.  He is in better shape now in his 40’s than he’s been his entire life.

I’ve always been insanely supportive and proud of my husband during this process, but have always said I could never do something so extreme.  You can laugh with me now…never say never.  Spurred on my own health issues, I’ve been eating about 95% carnivore (I’m not a purist because I like my Primal Kitchen sauces) since the end of January.  And surprises of all surprises, I’m a believer now.

Here are a few things I’ve learned so far:

1. Coming off of carbohydrates might be harder than sugar. // The old me loved carbs with a special love, so the detox period was HARD.  I was irritable and angry and just a terrible person to be around.  It’s wild to me how the body reacts…I can only imagine it was like coming off of drugs.  Worth it, but that was a hard week.
2. “Wheat belly” is real. // There are books about this, but I always thought that was about other people.  I’m from sturdy stock!  Gluten can’t bother me!  Now I’m not so sure.  I almost immediately lost the embarrassing belly bloat (I’ve been terrified that people would mistake the gut for being pregnant!) and am now wondering if some of my inflammation issues from last year are because of gluten.
3. I’m satiated and rarely feel like I’m starving. // This may be the wildest result of the list.  I have a good contrast: on January 1st, I started tracking my calories.  Not only was it mentally time-consuming, but I always felt like I was kinda/sorta hungry, but constantly balancing when and how I could stretch those calories.  Fast forward to today.  I generally eat two meals, certainly not low in calories, but enough that I never feel like I’m starving.  I’m not counting the hours until I can eat again.  I eat what sounds good and it is satiating and sustaining.  Absolutely mind-blowing.
4. My brain feels calm. // If you’ve read my ramblings for the past year, you’ve obviously seen that I’ve been struggling.  Putting on a brave face and never giving up, but struggling all the same.  I could weep in thanksgiving when I tell you that for the first time in a long time, my mental health is great.  My brain feels calm.  I’m not anxiety-ridden or depressed or overwhelmed to the point of desperation.  I don’t feel emotionally dead inside.  It’s an incredible gift to feel well.
5. I may continue a slightly modified version of this after Lent. // When I started, I told myself that I just had to get through Lent.  Easter was the finish line and then I could go back to eating like before.  Now I’m not so sure.  I do think I will indulge in a few treat days, but currently have every intention of continuing on for the foreseeable future.  I feel too great not to.

But enough about me.  People tend to get really defensive about the carnivore diet and that’s just silly to me.  You do you!  But one word of advice from me: never say never.  You may embark on something you never imagined…and it might change your world.

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ purchasing a vacuum attachment on ebay.  I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned my slight obsession here before, but I have a personal challenge to do everything in my power not to buy another vacuum cleaner for as long as possible.  So silly, but true!  We currently have the Bissell CleanView Pet Vacuum and I have taken it apart and fixed it multiple times since 2019.  Recently, I was frustrated with the amount of dog hair on the upholstery, but couldn’t find the “TurboEraser tool” to clean it up.  After looking all over the house to no avail, I decided to just buy the replacement piece on ebay.  Now the vacuum is complete again and lives another day!

+ listening to “Fast Car” on repeat.  My son has been learning to play Tracy Chapman’s song (or if you’re of a certain age, the Luke Combs version) on the guitar and the tune is following me everywhere.  I’m humming it first thing in the morning and it snakes its way into my dreams at night, ha!  Hopefully, he’ll move on to something different soon.

+ upgrading my cell phone after almost five years.  I am ridiculously proud of myself that I’ve held on so long!  The new challenge: can I keep this phone in good working condition until 2029?  We’ll see!  We also switched cell phone providers which means we’ll be saving about $65 a month.

+ using wood and metal sheeting scraps that we already have on hand to construct another pig shelter.  Max and Ruby are headed out to pasture!

Reading //

• Build a Songbird Compass: Agency, Communion, and Tech by Peco and Ruth Gaskovski at Pilgrims in the Machine // Thought provoking.  I saved their reflection questions.
• North Platte Canteen: Where The Heartland Opened Its Heart In WWII from NPR // We learned about this in history this week and it warmed my heart.  I love seeing all of the photographs.

Watching/Listening //

• OFF FOR LENT

Loving //

• these Minecraft cutouts // My littlest is really into Minecraft right now and has had so much fun making these 3D models of the characters.
• Avlea Folk Embroidery // These kits are so gorgeous.  I’d love to make a table runner some day.
• Cold Calm // In heavy use around here as we battle little colds and sore throats.
• these Money Saving Envelope Binders // After a great conversation about saving, I purchased two of these for my oldest teenagers.  They loved them!  There are multiple ways you can use the binder and they include examples to get you started.