Breathing: “Over the years I have tried all sorts of solutions to the inevitable sibling battles, including forced separations, time-outs, hugs and kisses, and, at times, shouting at the top of my lungs. Breathing together works best. Now, before I will listen to either side of the story, before the argument escalates further, before I take any action at all to settle a dispute, we breathe together. I kneel down and take one child in each arm. We look into one another’s faces, we breathe long and slow and deep, we count to ten or twenty. In the process, we always seem to find in our hearts a scrap of forbearance, a shred of forgiveness–and that is the beginning of the road back to harmony.” -page 97
Healing: “…sometimes our children are really asking for more from us than a perfunctory response, and that is when we must minister not only to the skinned knee, but to an inner need as well. It does no good to advise a weeping child that the pain will go away on its own. We are mothers, after all, and it is our job to do something. And so I created the ‘hurt basket,’ a treasure chest of magical lotions, potions and healing aids. The wicker basket, stored high on a bathroom shelf, invokes a ritual–it means that time will be taken to ease a pain, that I care, that I will do my best to bring comfort. The contents of the basket change with the season: soothing throat lozenges in winter, an ‘itch eraser’ for summer’s mosquito bites. But in general we are not without peppermint foot lotion, arnica gel, witch hazel, calamine lotion…and last, but not least, a truly impressive array of Band-Aids…To an adult, a Band-Aid may be nothing but a sticky plastic strip; but to a child it is a badge of honor, imbued with magical healing properties. Be grateful and stock up.” –page 101 (emphasis mine)
