The Big White Farmhouse

intentional living, little by little

No.773: My Mother Culture Commonplace Book // October 2023

“Avenue of Poplars” by Vincent van Gogh

As you know, I’m a cheerleader for being an active producer vs. a passive consumer and education definitely falls in that active category.  (It takes effort to think/process new information!)  I’m bringing back the Mother Culture Commonplace Book series (again) to share some of the things I’ve been learning.  Here’s what I’ve been reading/watching/listening to lately…

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A Cautionary Warning from Syria

Before the revolution, I thought that Syria was for Assad.  Syria was just the place where I lived, but it didn’t belong to me.  When the revolution began, I discovered that Syria was my country.  As Kurds, we had thought that we were oppressed and others were favored by the regime.  After the revolution we discovered that we were all suffering from the same oppression.  We discovered that we had not been working together, and that is how the regime was able to dominate us. – Cherin, a mother from Aleppo, We Crossed a Bridge and It Trembled: Voices from Syria, p.89

Families and ADHD, Dyslexia & Apraxia

I’m always on the hunt for ways to help my dyslexic children and most recently have been reading the book, The LCP Solution: The Remarkable Nutritional Treatment for ADHD, Dyslexia and Dyspaxia by B. Jacqueline Stordy, PhD.  She begins the book by discussing how family history largely predetermines your chances of inheriting a learning disorder, which has been true in our family.  Turns out that it’s long been recognized that learning disorders such as ADHD, dyslexia, and dyspraxia run in families and many children have one or more.  Look at these statistics:
  • As many as 65% of children with ADHD also struggle with at least one other learning disorder.
  • 50% of dyspraxic children also have ADHD.
  • Some 30-50% of children with dyslexia have ADHD and vice versa.
The Burning Rates of Natural vs. Synthetic Materials

My son is a volunteer firefighter and is going through academy right now.  He is learning so much and then teaches me when he comes home!  One of the videos he shared with me showed the flashover times of a living room filled with natural materials vs. one with synthetics.  Scary!

No.772: Homemaking Notes on a Monday // Vol.48

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The weather outside is //

As I look outside my window // Fall is in full swing.  The morning temperatures are quite crisp now; I’ve had to pull out my big Carhartt for morning chores.  Yellow leaves fall from the trees like confetti.  The garden has been mostly put to bed for the season, just a few more areas to weed and amend.  The pace on the farm is slowing and a winter of rest is on the horizon.  We’re so close!  I think I can, I think I can…

As I look around the house // Four pumpkins picked from a local farm sit in a row on the kitchen table, ripe and waiting to be carved into jack-o’-lanterns.  Our kitchen island is overflowing with eggs.  I have a pile of warm, cozy blankets to wash and pile into the living room baskets.  It’s so trite to say nowadays, but I have always loved this time of year.

Thinking about // this poem from Mary Oliver:

“I Worried” by Mary Oliver

I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers
flow in the right direction, will the earth turn
as it was taught, and if not how shall
I correct it?

Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,
can I do better?

Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows
can do it and I am, well,
hopeless.

Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,
am I going to get rheumatism,
lockjaw, dementia?

Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.
And gave it up. And took my old body
and went out into the morning,
and sang.

I’m less a worrier and more of an overthinker, a predict-er, a planner, a Plan A/B/C-er.  While that way of thinking is sometimes helpful, it’s also so very exhausting.  Lately, I’ve been practicing the art of going outside with a blank mind.  No lists or plans, just intentionally seeking and naming beauty in my own backyard.  Harder than it sounds (!!) but a good challenge.  I feel a lot of peace when I can accomplish it.

On this week’s to-do list //
– work on refilling/stocking “winter emergency packs” for each vehicle
– start switching out the kids’ wardrobes
– pack away my summer dresses and bring out the sweaters
– move Fred from pasture into the permanent pig paddock
– work on my junk journal
– give the little boys’ haircuts

Currently reading // 

On the menu this week //

Monday: loaded breakfast enchiladas
Tuesday: white chicken chili
Wednesday: meatballs with mashed potatoes
Thursday: Refrigerator Cleanout Night
Friday: tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches

No.771: How I Turned Around

I recently came across something I had written in my phone’s notes app way back in the fall of 2020.  That spring had been one big unfamiliar, nerve-wracking situation and I was doing my best to bear the unknowns as best as I could.  (I kept a 12-week lockdown diary here on the blog.)  At some point, I remember thinking, “I have to find a better way to cope with all of this,” and this list in my phone must have been my reflections on what I did.  I’m copying it here because while the situation is different, the stress is the same.  I needed the reminder that with time, prayer and effort, I can turn this ship around.  Again.

1. I said goodbye to unnecessary fear.

I stopped constantly reading the news and turned off social media.  I had to do a complete detox at first, but have slowly added it back in in a healthier way.  A good motto: Don’t let others’ emotions dictate your own. Keep a level head, think for yourself.

2. I started taking better care of myself.

I gained weight due to the constant stress and emotional eating, so I:

  • Limited sugar and things that caused me inflammation (like dairy)
  • Focused on movement, in whatever form that comes
  • Took my vitamins and supplements
  • Was mindful about what foods weren’t good for my slightly elevated blood pressure
3. I focused on the causes of my stress.

One of my stressors was not being prepared for the lockdown and then worrying about having enough to eat.  To combat that, I started picking up a few extra things here and there to stock up the pantry.

4. I stopped myself from dwelling too far into the future.

I like to have a plan but have learned the unknowns are too great. I instead started focusing on just this week, this month.

5. Gratitude.  Always gratitude.

What a gift that this word was my choice back in January. It carried me through.

6. I said lots and lots of prayers.

Prayers for our health and safety sure, but also for wisdom and understanding, for prudence, for clarity, for greater trust. For docility to His will, for peace in whatever comes our way. For a greater understanding of the death that comes to each of us someday and how I can live in such a way that I’m ready, whenever that day may come.

No.770: One Quarter Left! // A Review of My 2023 Goals

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I’m a little earlier than last year, but thought I would check in on my 2023 goals as we enter into the fourth quarter.  This should be interesting…

#1. START A BULLET JOURNAL AND USE ALL OF THE PAGES.

My original intentions: Instead of purchasing an expensive planner, I’m creating my own in a bullet journal style and I’m determined to fill up the entire thing!  I am notorious for abandoning half-filled notebooks.

How it’s going: Done!  I finished the last page in my journal at the end of September and quickly purchased a second one to keep going.  It’s quickly become a prized possession – I have everything from reading notes to garden plans to inflation trackers inside.

My plan for the rest of 2023: I’ll be continuing on in journal #2 and definitely can see myself using it through 2024.

#2. WRITE DOWN MY GRATITUDE EVERYDAY.

My original intentions: There is so much to be thankful for, if only I seek it.

How it’s going: Giving myself half credit on this one.  I have started and stopped with daily documentation all year; clearly, consistency has been a struggle for me in lots of areas!  In September, I created a specific gratitude page in my journal and that seemed to help encourage the habit.

My plan for the rest of 2023: I just made another gratitude page for October and hope to continue in this way through the rest of the year.

#3. SUPPORT THE MAN BEFORE THE COMPANY.

My original intentions: So many of us are starting little side hustles as a way to further our goals or just make ends meet.  I want to look toward the farmer, the reseller, and the artist first before heading to the big box stores.  

How it’s going: Yes!  I’m really happy to have created a habit where I look at the small businesses first before going to the big box stores.  It’s not always possible to find what I’m looking for (I just made an Amazon order last week!), but a quick search through Ebay, Poshmark, or Etsy is always my first stop.  We also love supporting our fellow farmers, especially the smaller hobby-sized ones like ours.

My plan for the rest of 2023: Keep on, keepin’ on.  I want to do some browsing to see if I can find some unique things for Christmas.

#4. WORK ON HOMESTEAD SYSTEMS.

My original intentions: 2022 was a big building year.  2023 will be the year where we think smarter, not harder: tweaking our systems for better efficiency.

How it’s going: Hmm.  This was an interesting season at the farm and so many things did not go according to plan.  I thought about creating better systems (ha!), but I’m not sure those things actually came to fruition this year.

My plan for the rest of 2023: We are in the process of building multiple permanent pig paddocks, which will be very helpful long term.  Considering that enough for this goal and one small project checked off of the homestead system list!

#5. READ FROM MY BOOKSHELVES.

My original intentions: I have a lot of unread books.  While this doesn’t stress me out (I see them as a plethora of possibilities!), I do want to prioritize these options over any new ones.  The money saved will be an added bonus.

How it’s going: I started the year with 207 unread books.  As of this writing, I’ve read 74 books and my unread shelf holds 201.  Obviously, I’ve been replenishing my shelves just as fast as I read them!  I blame our amazing used bookstore where you can find like new hardcovers for $2.  Oh well, a good problem to have.

My plan for the rest of 2023: I’ll still be reading from my shelves, but there may be birthday and Christmas gifts in my future!

#6. CULTIVATE A WARM, WELCOMING HOME.

My original intentions: More decluttering of the extras and figuring out how to make a cozy home with the rest.

How it’s going: I have spent very little intentional time on my home this year.  I have missed puttering around and making my home cozy and welcoming!  But things are looking up – I created my decluttering schedule and have been slowly checking off the list.

My plan for the rest of 2023: Fall is here and winter is right around the corner.  I’m looking forward to pulling out all the warm blankets, candles and records for the player.  We’re ready for fires in the fireplace and books everywhere!

#7. KEEP WORKING ON THE MORTGAGE REDUCTION.

My original intentions: We’re making progress on this huge goal, little by little.  Since there’s only so much you can cut from an already lean budget, we’ll be executing a few side hustles for some added cash.  (Shameless plug to buy me a “coffee”!  Just kidding.)  I’m excited to see what kind of a dent we can make in 2023.

How it’s going: This goal is another one that has been inconsistent.  As the year has progressed, we’ve had to lessen our extra payments to pay for the farm and just everyday life.  Thankfully, I’ve been able to continually sell our unneeded items on ebay/Poshmark/Pango and all of that money goes straight to the mortgage.  We started the year at 15.4% paid and as of this writing are at 18.9% paid off.  Not spectacular, but moving in the right direction.

My plan for the rest of 2023: With birthdays and Christmas on the horizon, I don’t think there will be any big lump sums significantly moving the needle.  We just keeping moving forward, little by little.

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