The Big White Farmhouse | intentional living, little by little

October 31, 2022

No.701: Hi. Hello.

Hi. Hello. It’s been awhile.

In my last few posts before the break, I was trying to write about life honestly. Ironically (says the girl writing publicly on the Internet), I’m actually not an over-sharer and because I wanted to maintain some privacy for myself/others around me, I just came off as vague and whiny and lame. I really wanted to be the wise writer who could see life lessons through the mess, but instead I just felt rage-y and wanting to punch something. Not great blog material.

So I shut the whole thing down. Hard stop on writing here.

And in the weeks since…well, it’s been a ride. I did a lot of soul searching. I did a little ugly sobbing in the shower. I refocused on some things and pushed other things to the side. I realized I was feeling bone dry creatively. I tried to live just one day at a time instead of focusing on the future. I prayed for detachment and for the peace that surpasses all understanding. Just recently, Our Lord was so gracious as to give me that last one – I could cry all over again with gratitude.

I sometimes feel like this blog just adds more noise to the Internet, but I think (maybe?) I want to keep writing here. I’m pretty honest about being a hot mess 99% of the time and I certainly don’t have it all together. Even so, this blog helps me seek out the good, true and beautiful in all of my messiness. I hope it conveys that to those who read here too.

Anyway, in no particular order, below is a list of things that have been happening around here since I’ve been gone. None are terribly interesting or worthy of a post, but should I write about the minutiae anyway? I don’t know…I’m out of practice.

I made a new weekly cleaning routine and then deep cleaned the entire house.
This led to a decluttering extravaganza and a basement redesign.
I started focusing on my sad hair health.
Reselling has been picking up.
I’m creating a fall/winter capsule wardrobe.
My sourdough starter is officially dead.
I’ve started learning how to draw.
I’ve also started learning how to code.
The dryer debacle continues.
Little vintage additions are my favorite pieces of décor.
I’m working on a vintage art gallery wall, but a small budget and a specific vision has me moving slowly.
I need to make a plan about skim coating my textured walls (DIY or hire a professional?).
I fixed my ugly sectional with a $20 hack and some elbow grease.
I’m more than halfway finished with my Christmas shopping.

October 7, 2022

No.700: What I Read in September 2022

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission of any sale made at no extra cost to you.

#55. THE FLICKER OF OLD DREAMS by Susan Henderson // ★★★☆☆
(amazon // bookshop // better world books)

A beautifully written and somber book. The story is about a 30-something woman who works with her father in the town mortuary. Because of their unique occupation, she has always felt like an outcast. When a dying neighbor’s son returns to town, a man who has also had trouble being accepted in town, their new friendship sparks life into the woman and helps her move forward. This one was hard to rate – maybe more like 3.5 stars? There were so many little quotes that really resonated with me. (I read this for the Willa Award Winners Challenge.)

#56. STILL LIFE by Louise Penny // ★★★☆☆
(amazon // bookshop // better world books)

So many people I know enjoy this mystery series from Louise Penny so I decided to give it a try! A solid three star start and I’ve heard they continue to improve as the books go on. I liked Chief Inspector Armand Gamache…is he a modern day Hercule Poirot? We’ll see. (I read this one for the Alphabet Reading Challenge.)

#57. WORLD MADE BY HAND by James Howard Kunstler // ★★★☆☆
(amazon // bookshop // better world books)

This novel is a post-apocalyptic story about a world without electricity. It had some really weird parts, but I did enjoy the thought experiment. How long could my family and community survive without all of the luxuries we take for granted?

#58. VIOLET IS NOWHERE by Faith Gardner // ★★☆☆☆
(amazon // bookshop)

I was excited about this near-future dystopian thriller because it sounded so interesting: A rising rock star is kidnapped from her LA home. She wakes up locked inside a cabin with a note and a burner phone that only dials one number to a stranger. The mysterious note says the two have just one week to figure out the connection between them. Otherwise someone or something will take her life. Sounds intriguing, right? Unfortunately, I found the pacing really off and it didn’t get interesting until more than halfway in. The futuristic dystopian twist was interesting, but almost anti-climactic? I may not be the target audience, but this one was just okay for me. Also: there was so much language – I can appreciate the appropriately placed cussword, especially in a book, but this was a little over the top. (Thank you to Netgalley for the opportunity to read this book. Violet is Nowhere was published on September 22, 2022!)

#59. LAY SAINTS: MODELS OF FAMILY LIFE by Joan Carroll Cruz // ★★★☆☆
(amazon // better world books)

I appreciated this collection of saintly laity and their stories throughout the centuries. Lots of new saints that I was unfamiliar with.

October 6, 2022

No.699: Poetry Tea Time // Week 03

We’re trying Poetry Tea Time again this year with my four youngest students, but with a twist. The older two will be in charge of the sweet treat each week! They love to cook and this is a fun way to expand on those skills. During this time, we will also read a few poems and challenge ourselves to recite some from memory. I’m also incorporating an informal Art Study and will have the month’s work on display. My goal is to provide an environment for us to experience the arts in a relaxed, non-intimidating way.

Here are the highlights from Week Three:

THE SWEET TREAT

Autumn is here, so we decided to go with something seasonally appropriate: Apple Galette from Handle the Heat. (We also used my go-to pie crust recipe.) The kids assembled everything themselves and the result was delicious.

THE POEM

Continuing with the seasonal theme, I picked a cute one from Emily Dickinson. Beautiful and lots to look at.

Autumn
by Emily Dickinson

The morns are meeker than they were,
The nuts are getting brown;
The berry’s cheek is plumper,
The rose is out of town.

The maple wears a gayer scarf,
The field a scarlet gown.
Lest I should be old-fashioned,
I’ll put a trinket on.

THE ART

We moved to a new piece from Fra Angelico called Maestá (Madonna Enthroned).

October 4, 2022

No.698: September in Review & Goals for October 2022

FIVE THINGS I LOVED

the beginning of birthday season!
a thorough decluttering of all of the basement toys
feeling the chill in the air during morning chores
the living room chair finally delivered after three months of waiting
being on the same page as my husband

FIVE LESSONS I LEARNED

I’m always glad when I go. Last year, I joined a book club but only made it to a few meetings due to other family commitments. This year, I’m making it a bigger priority. I often psyche myself out beforehand because the monthly meeting starts around 7:30 and at that time of day, I’m exhausted and ready for my pajamas! But even so, I drink that extra cup of coffee and head out anyway. And I’m always glad that I went.
It’s hard to watch someone you love struggle. My husband dealt with painful health issues and a child’s learning disabilities reared their ugly head too. I can help alleviate some of the suffering, but I can’t take it away. So hard.
It’s not going to be perfect. My life is a lot like three full time jobs (homemaker, educator, homesteader) and I know it’s unrealistic for me to think that I can do all three of these perfectly. I tend to throw myself completely at one to the detriment of the other two and…that’s not working so well. I need to juggle all three simultaneously while remembering that my best effort, while nowhere perfect, is good enough.
Homesteading exposes you to a lot of death. And it never gets easier.
“Death by a thousand cuts” is exactly the expression that describes September 2022. The issues were not that big in and of themselves, but the sheer amount of them was staggering and they came at an alarming pace! To everything there is a season…I’m praying for a reprieve in October.

FIVE GOALS FOR SEPTEMBER REVIEWED

✔ ~~Go on a date with my husband.~~ It’s been a crazy year and we needed some time to just be together.
Follow a daily skincare routine and see if I can notice any difference. I faithfully followed all of the steps for four or five days and my skin looked worse and worse! I’m not sure if it was an allergic reaction or what, but I’ll need to find a new product before trying this goal again.
✔ ~~Send some snail mail.~~ Not nearly as many as I had hoped, but I did manage to send a baptism gift and a thank you card.
✔ ~~Try a new sourdough recipe once each week.~~ Considering this one a partial success. I made a handful of recipes in fits and spurts throughout the month, but it didn’t fit neatly in the “once each week” timeframe.
Paint the back doors. Nope. I bought the roller and the painter’s tape though!

FIVE GOALS FOR OCTOBER

Start Christmas shopping.
Stock the winter medicine cabinet.
Take our own family pictures.
Learn how to water glass eggs.
Review my intentions for blogging. I have terrible writer’s block and am asking all the questions: What am I even doing here? What do I have to offer? Is the expense worth it?