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I’ve been thinking a lot about the juxtaposition between hard and good.  Lately, I’ve found myself saying that many parts of my life are “hard:” Farming is so hard.  Homeschooling six kids is hard.  Trying to take care of myself and feel better is hard.  Life is just…hard.  But – at least in these instances – does hard necessarily mean bad?  The first two have been so fruitful for our family and the third is a not fun, but completely necessary task to improve the quality of my life.  All three are beneficial.  All three are worth the struggle.  All three are good.

Hard and good.  Good and hard.  Two things can be true at the same time.

I had plans to participate in the Top Ten Tuesday linkup this week, but that just didn’t happen.  The prompt was “books on my fall 2023 to-read list” and these were the ten possibilities I pulled:

1. Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear
2. Dracula by Bram Stoker
3. Ruthless River: Love and Survival by Raft on the Amazon’s Relentless Madre de Dios by Holly Fitzgerald
4. West with Giraffes by Lynda Rutledge
5. A Merciful Death by Kendra Elliot
6. Complications: A Surgeon’s Notes on an Imperfect Science by Atul Gawande
7. The Beekeeper’s Apprentice by Laurie R. King
8. Motherless by Brian J. Gail
9. The Carnivore Code: Unlocking the Secrets to Optimal Health by Returning to our Ancestral Diet by Paul Saladino, MD
10. Gold: The Race For the World’s Most Seductive Metal by Matthew Hart

In science, the little boys learned about mushrooms, especially the super deadly Destroying Angel.  We have some mushrooms around our property but will probably leave them alone until someone with way more experience can teach us proper identification.  Did you hear about that mushroom poisoning case in Australia?

Like most people, one of my stressors right now is money.  I’m feeling the tug to intentionally seek out new frugal accomplishments.  We still regularly do most of the things I’ve mentioned in previous FA posts, but I need to think more creatively and outside the box.  I need some fresh inspiration!  Starting small, but two accomplishments from this week:

• My second youngest was in desperate need of bigger sneakers, so I dug around in our hand-me-down bin and thankfully found a pair his size.  A quick cleanup with a wet rag and Magic Eraser and they look good as new.  (And it saved me at least $30.)
• The air conditioning is officially off for the year and the windows are open everyday.  Praying this saves us a bit on our electric bill since this year has been ridiculous.

We had a scary experience with Sammy, our eight-month-old Great Pyrenees/Golden Retriever mix.  We’re still not exactly sure what happened, but he suddenly became unsteady on his feet, stumbling around with his head shaking.  He looked like he had Parkinson’s disease.  His personality completely changed and he just looked awful.  It was absolutely terrifying, but after about 12 hours of rest (and 12 hours of worry for me), he was right back to his silly self.  His symptoms matched up pretty well to vestibular disease and we’re assuming he must have done something to mess with his eardrum, therefore disturbing his equilibrium/balance.

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Little duties, little efforts, the better for being seen by no one, except by Him in whose eyes nothing is little. – a quote I loved from The Secret Diary of Elisabeth Leseur, p.157

What a week!  We started with boiling 90-100° weather and ended with a severe thunderstorm downpour.  Our area has been in a moderate drought this year, so that rain was so welcome!

Torrie recently shared her minimalism goals and I was super inspired by the way she broke down the areas of her house into tiny sections.  I’d like to do another declutter this fall and this was just what I needed to get started.  I made my list and began with the school room bookshelves.  In just an hour, I had tidied and organized, tossed a ton of used workbooks, and was even able to find 35 items to donate or resell.  I felt very accomplished and excited to keep going.

We had another fun week in science.  The little boys are learning about rocks and minerals and we dove into this rock and mineral kit.  So fun.  My fifth grader read a book called The Secret Life of a Snowflake: An Up-Close Look at the Art and Science of Snowflakes, which was so interesting!  The author is a scientist who photographs snowflakes under a microscope.  Each one is completely unique.  We’re already praying for snow this winter, so we can see this for ourselves, ha!

New additions to my mother culture book stack: Cobalt Red: How the Blood of the Congo Powers Our Lives by Siddharth Kara, The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups by Leonard Sax, MD, PhD and The Cortisol Connection: Why Stress Makes You Fat and Ruins Your Health And What You Can Do About It by Shawn Talbott, PhD, FACSM.

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I started the week with a comedy of errors: I accidentally popped out a filling and will be dealing with a massive hole in my molar until the dentist can fit me in sometime in the next two weeks.  I got stung by a hornet or yellow jacket while moving pigs on pasture and had a localized allergic reaction.  We’re also dealing with a fox snatching our chickens and our attempts to trap him have been frustratingly unsuccessful.  Thankfully, God is gracious and knew I needed one small win: our first week of school went smoothly and without complaint!

This week was all about figuring out a new routine with six school-aged kids: what subjects can be completed independently vs. what do I need to be present for, is it too much work or too little? and on and on.  Like every year, fitting in household chores is the last puzzle piece; when do I even have time to do the laundry?!  Dinner was also a poorly planned hodgepodge.  Oh well…it will all work its way out in time.

The science experiments for Week 1 were a big hit.  In seventh grade, my son dropped M&Ms in water and vegetable oil and we were surprised to discover that the “m” on the candy is made from edible paper!  When put in water, the candy will dissolve, but the “m” will float to the top.  My littlest boys learned about light and shadows and watched their chalk-traced shadow move throughout the day.  So fun.

Baby steps from burnout update: I have put on some weight (ahem…) and my ill-fitting clothes have put a damper on my desire to dress nicely.  So with my husband’s encouragement, I decided to buy some items in my current size.  I am firmly in the camp that you can be realistic about the body you have right now while also working toward a healthier one in the future.  Weight is what it is and I don’t find my identity in the number, but I do know what size makes me feel best.  My box from ThredUp arrived this week and I was pleased with about 90% of it.  Now I’ll be able to feel a little more confident in clothes that actually fit while working toward my health goals.

I decided that my early mornings with the dog (hours before anyone wakes up!) could be an opportunity to start a new mother culture habit.  Currently working my way through Land of Hope: An Invitation to the Great American Story, Pioneer Priests and Makeshift Altars: A History of Catholicism in the Thirteen Colonies, and The Secret Diary of Elisabeth Leseur.  All really good so far!  I’m learning a lot.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how I’m firmly in the “in-between” stage of so many aspects of my life right now. The farm is getting more established, but still has countless half-finished projects strewn across the property. I’m more proficient in running the farm, but nowhere near an expert.  The house is comfortable, but the list of updates is still miles long. The mortgage reduction goal is well on its way but we’re far off from the finish line.  And on and on and on.  The in-between is uncomfortable for someone like me who prefers things in tidy little boxes and tasks checked off the list. I struggle with the mess, with the imperfection, with the unknowing. But God is good, isn’t He? I’ve grown and learned more in the past three years than I probably have in the last decade.  Non nobis Domine non nobis sed nomini tuo da gloriam – Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory. (Psalm 115)

We recently purchased a new-to-us puzzle at our favorite used bookstore.  (Here’s the Amazon listing so you can see the whole thing.)  Super cute with so many little details.

I’ve been listening to a podcast called Sold a Story and feel so vindicated.  (I have had a personal experience with this during my kids’ time in public school, but that’s a story for another day.)  I’m sure there are worthy arguments on both sides of this apparently hot-button issue, but it’s definitely worth a listen if you feel like your lower elementary school kids are struggling with reading.

Did you notice an orangey-red sun where you live this week?  Apparently due to the wildfires in Canada, smoke and haze were prevalent in the mid-Atlantic region, making the sun appear red.  Eerie.

A few photos from around the farm:

Then there is the overflow of his poverty.  Again we ask, “How little can he have?”  Even a poor baby does have some kind of a crib, is in some kind of a home.  But he?  How poor can he be?  How little can he have?  How much can he do without?…And how acquisitive we can be!  Perhaps not of things, although we are certainly not immune from that, but how acquisitive can we be of the way things must be arranged, the time that decisions must be made, the way this must be done.  And our Lord is saying to us in his overflow, “How little can you have?  How much can you do without?”  On the spiritual level, the level on my interior acquisitiveness, my interior concupiscence, how much can I do without?  It is when we reduce our holdings to their absolute minimum, to relate to his overflow, that we are the happiest.  When I have to have my way, and I have to have this done right now, and this has got to be figured out right now, and this has got to be arranged – this is not when we are happy.  We know that, yet we forget it very easily…How little could he have?  Just some straw, a little swaddling, a Mother, and the angels singing. – Come Lord Jesus: Meditations on the Art of Waiting, p.94-95

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I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes a house a home.  So often I look at my house with a critical eye: that needs to be repainted, we’re going to have to get that repaired sometime soon, why did the previous owner pick that?!

During the blog break, I went on a cleaning spree and filled my days with cleaning and tidying, decluttering and straightening.  Is it too dramatic to say that I love my home even more now?  I don’t have the money for a kitchen renovation or floor refinishing or professionally skim coated walls.  But there’s something magical about the power of soap and elbow grease.  (Remember this “soap is cheap” article?)  There’s something beautiful about rearranging our belongings just so, figuring out ways to make our spaces work best for this specific time in our lives.  There’s something freeing to be able to say that while it’s not perfect (and will it ever be?), it’s still good.

A few other highlights from last week:

My Christmas cactus may be a Thanksgiving cactus this year!

Organization project of the week: I worked on my pantry with the addition of these command mop grippers.  Now my mop and brooms are up off the floor and out of the way!  (And mini frugal accomplishment: I shopped around for a good price for these clips and couldn’t find anything cheaper than $9 for one hook.  A quick look on Poshmark and I found someone selling four for $9!  Love a good deal, especially these days.)

I worked through The Tenant of Wildfell Hall most of the week for book club.  A good story, but whew…a slog to get through the middle!

A further consequence of my blog break cleaning spree was a new aversion for mass-produced decor.  I recently read an article that commented on the lure of materialism in social media and how it influenced home decor and design.  One woman was lamenting about a gold mirror in her baby’s nursery that was “all the rage” two years ago, but is now basically unnecessary and useless.  It’s fascinating how we can be so subconsciously manipulated!  Anyway, I’m discovering more and more that I love unique, old things and I want them to be a part of everyday life.  Nothing too precious to be kept in a cabinet collecting dust!

Some examples I’ve recently implemented/acquired: I used my grandmother’s china teacups to be “scoopers” for my flour/sugar/oats jars.  I pulled out an old dish (also from a grandmother) to hold my everyday jewelry.  I purchased a beautiful vintage (supposedly European) soap dish for my kitchen sink.  They’re all small little details that create a collected look all my own.

No photographic evidence, but I also:

+ woke up early to see the lunar eclipse and the “blood moon” on Tuesday.  Standing outside in the silence with a sky full of stars… it was so incredibly beautiful.  What an amazing Creator we serve.
+ did my yearly stripping of the processing clothes as my boys are done with farm work for the season.  So gross.  So satisfying.
+ continued applying essential oils to my (very large) pig’s hurt leg.  Fred’s been limping, so at the advice of a friend, I ordered and started applying Ache Away.  I never know what to expect with these homeopathic-type remedies, but it appears to be working!  He’s slowly getting the pep back in his step.
+ opened an electric bill informing us of another price increase.  I think this is #3 for the year?  It goes into effect in January 2023, so we’ll have to be extra careful with our heating.  Lots of fires in the fireplace in our future!

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When life is crazy and and things keep going sideways, I tend to choose ridiculous projects that need to be done right.this.minute.  This week’s project was to separate Lego bricks by color.  I know.  Who in their right mind does this?  I would have considered this idea insanity a few years ago, but my boys are growing up and the younger ones think this will help with their building.  As for me, I’m hoping it will help them use what we own because I’ve been thisclose to donating the whole lot.  (All five boys looked at me in horror when I mentioned it.)  Anyway, I bought six of these bins and they’re a great size for this project.

Bacon wrapped jalapeno poppers made with our own peppers!

Frugal accomplishment of the week!  Our dryer had been consistently making an ear-splitting squealing noise and I had to resort to air-drying the laundry.  (I typically do 1-2 loads every day, so this has been a little inconvenient.)  We didn’t want to buy a new dryer, so after doing a little research and learning a few things on Youtube, we decided to try to fix it ourselves.  And for less than $10, we have a functional (and quiet!) dryer again!

On my nightstand: This Tender Land and Padre Pio: The Stigmatist.  I’ve been reading at a snail’s pace, but need to step it up: I have a book club book to start!

My latest find: this vintage brass candle holder.  I love the detailing and the place for your thumb.  Such a cool piece!  I’ve been browsing etsy for another one and have found some options like this one, this one, and this one too!

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I feel you, Alexander.  Last week was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.  Well, that may be a bit of an exaggeration…

Still.  Lots of hard things happened all at once.  Isn’t that always the way?  We had more farm catastrophes.  I started a new skincare routine (per my monthly goals) and my skin completely broke out in response.  My husband had a health issue flare up, causing him excruciating pain.  I miscounted my cross-stitch and had to rip out a whole section of stitches.  My clothes dryer started making weird noises.  And on and on and on.  Some weeks are like that, right?

Thankfully, there were still some bright moments sprinkled throughout the days.  Here are a few:

We’ve been watching the progress on this spider web.  Pretty incredible.

What a surprise and honor.  I cried.

My oldest son helped a local farmer with morning chores while he was out of town for Labor Day.  I followed along one morning and loved seeing another system.  Definitely took some notes and pictures!

A line from the Litany of the Holy Ghost that I’ve been pondering: Holy Ghost, inspire in us the practice of good.

First book club meeting of the new year!  I don’t know these women well, but they are all so kind and generous.  Looking forward to reading and learning with them.

We had the most beautiful Mass in the new spot on Sunday.  My heart was filled to bursting.  How quickly I forget how He can turn a little into a lot!  It also seems the Gospel was just the one I needed to hear at the end of this hard week, especially this part: O ye of little faith! Be not solicitous therefore saying: What shall we eat, or what shall we drink, or wherewith shall we be clothed? for after all these things do the heathen seek. For your Father knows that you have need of all these things. Seek ye therefore first the kingdom of God, and His justice; and all these things shall be added unto you.  After that pertinent reminder, I’m back on track and ready to face whatever comes.  Deo gratias.

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If you give a mom a crooked rug…
She’ll move all the furniture out to straighten it.  Seeing all of the toys and dust will send her on a cleaning spree.  She’ll tidy and vacuum and mop.  Seeing a virtually empty room will inspire her to move all of the furniture around.  She’ll love the new look and especially love the extra room for seating.  So she’ll start searching for another armchair.  She’ll eventually find one at a reasonable price, but discover at delivery that it is damaged.  She’ll call the store and ask for a replacement.  The fix will be at least 7-10 business days, so while she’s waiting, she’ll start imagining the finished room.  Having two armchairs will have her looking for matching pillows.  She’ll find a beautiful off-white pair on Poshmark.  Seeing the fresh color will make the walls and floorboards look dingy, so she’ll make plans to paint everything.  (Story to be continued….ha!)

Green beans are growing with wild abandon and I’m doing my best to preserve them for later. Mostly flash freezing them at this point, but I’d like to try making some dilly beans.

Other home updates: I have a little nook in the dining room that was a perfect spot for a little piece of artwork.  I browsed etsy and found this beautiful vintage piece called “Flight.”  I love that it has a religious theme, but is also very subtle.  Anyway, I ordered it printed on rolled canvas (so as to look a little more like a “real” painting) and was so pleased with the quality.  The shop is called Heirloom Print Shop and I will definitely be ordering again.

The project that never ends…

I surprised my daughter with this Perler kit and it was a huge hit.  Surprisingly, my boys were just as interested, so I quickly bought a Marvel Avengers kit too.

One afternoon, we were surprised with the most beautiful sun shower!

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Life is finally getting back to normal around here, praise God!  (We’ve had enough excitement for one summer, thank you very much.)  Feeling very grateful for my health and my very boring, very ordinary life.

Grateful for // the tiny bouquets my daughter creates and sprinkles throughout the house.  Planting more flowers is definitely on my to-do list for next spring.

Grateful for // a rainy day that kept me inside.  I got a wild hair and decided on a whim to rearrange the living room furniture!  I love the new setup; it feels bigger and will allow for more seating options.

Grateful for // this exciting morning.  One of my sons went to the garden and picked an onion, some red potatoes, and two jalapenos for his breakfast.  He made a spicy hash with over easy eggs (from our hens) and we were so tickled that he could make an entire meal from the fruits of our labor.

Grateful for // the daily probiotic I’ve been taking to get my gut back in working order after a week of antibiotics.

Grateful for // the bird that made a nest in a cleat in our garage!  We peek in everyday for updates.

Grateful for // the two batches of iced tea we made this week.  One was my go-to peach and for the other, we tried “Wild Berry Zinger.”  So delicious and refreshing.

Grateful for // one project to check off the list!  I sanded and re-stained the coffee table with an oil treatment we already had on hand.  It’s not perfect and not exactly what I had in mind, but it’s better than before, it was free and it’s DONE.  I’ll take it.

Grateful for // a ridiculous new “problem” we have with the hens.  After the big storm, some of our moveable fencing was damaged.  We decided to let all of the ducks and hens free range until we can get a replacement and they are loving the freedom.  Definitely living their best life, but now we have a new problem: not everyone is laying in the nesting boxes!  It was like a daily Easter egg hunt for awhile there, searching for eggs under bushes and tree branches.  Thankfully, most seem to have remembered that it’s much more comfortable to lay in the coop.

The past two weeks have been a bit of a nightmare.  The kids caught this weird low-grade fever/cough situation, which knocked them out, one by one, like dominoes.  Around the same time, one of my sons started exhibiting some troubling skin issues.  We were afraid it was MRSA, but it was finally diagnosed as impetigo.  I was his primary caregiver and within days, I started exhibiting some of the same symptoms inside my ear and on my face.  So scary.  We were both put on antibiotics and my son responded much more quickly than I did.  (I’ll spare the gory details, but let’s just say that I looked way worse before I got better.)  Anyway, we’re on our way to a full recovery, praise God.

And then…this happened:

On a seemingly normal summer afternoon, a severe thunderstorm with 80 MPH winds ran through our county and left a ton of destruction.  We watched in horror as huge trees were uprooted and branches snapped everywhere.  We watched pieces of our infrastructure bend and break.  (The photos above are just a few examples.)  The power pole at the end of our street snapped in half, leaving our area without power.  Thankfully, we are all fine and our animals are all alive.  But the damage is significant for our neighbors and our fellow farmers.  A kick in the teeth in an already difficult financial time.  In your charity, we would appreciate your prayers.  I hope to be back with cheerier news next week. XO

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. – Romans 5:3-5

I’m a worker bee.  Give me a goal and I’m off to the races!  2022 has been no exception; I have been intensely focused on the expansion of our farm.  It’s been hard physically and (arguably) harder mentally – I’ve never been more aware of the things I don’t know and need to learn.  And while I love the challenge of big projects and hard work, I also know I’ve been ignoring the telltale signs of exhaustion and burnout.  (Despite creating even more work for myself, ha!)  Life has a way of knocking you back a few notches and forcing you to slow down and change course for awhile.  A few of my kids got sick.  One son starting exhibiting some troubling health issues.  We received the news that a dear family friend passed away in an accident.

This week jolted me back to my first vocation and my eyes back on my family.  I’m now focused on getting them all healthy and holding them tight.  I’m intentionally planning and creating a few frugal summertime adventures.  Work will always be there, especially on a farm, but these people right in front of me are really the most important.  The food forest can wait.

A few other highlights from the week:

I made a few sourdough loaves.  I definitely need a sharper knife for my crust design, but getting closer on “the perfect” loaf.

Lots of new wildflowers!  They are so unique and beautiful.

Our two lady pigs, Phyllis and Fiona, are three weeks away from their Processing Day.  We have enjoyed them so much and will miss them.  Bittersweet.

More progress on the scrap quilt.  It’s turning out to be a little narrower than twin-sized and I’m more than halfway there.