The Big White Farmhouse

intentional living, little by little

No.820: Last Week at the Farmhouse // Little Moments of Delight pt.2

“Cypress, April” by Henri-Edmond Cross (1904)

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Going back to a simple prompt from a few weeks ago!  I sure needed it: gas prices around us jumped, our dog Samson puked on two of my rugs, we have ants in the kitchen and someone stole my credit card number and spent $3K on fraudulent plane tickets!

Here’s what I found this week:

Waking up to birdsong outside my bedroom window.  Finishing up a few school subjects for the year.  Healthy and diverse pasture for the broilers.  Being so, so close to an empty laundry room (for one day, anyway).  Blooms and new leaves on all of the fruit trees and bushes.  House finches in the front porch nest.  Another new driver in the house.  The smell of freshly mowed grass.  A trip to the used bookstore to add to my anti-library.

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ making our groceries stretch!  My husband stopped by the grocery store one day and picked up five items for me – five! – and the total was $50.  My eyes almost bugged out of my head when I saw the receipt.  Time to be creative in the kitchen again.  This week, I made granola and bread.  I also organized the pantry and collected items together to make specific meals.  (That will help a lot on busy days.)

+ packing away my winter clothes and pulling out all of my spring/summer dresses.  I went through everything (both piles) and took out the things that were too worn or too big.  I have a few gaps in my wardrobe now, but I’ll make due with what I have until I can find some deals.

+ making a new junk journal completely with things I already own.  I’m hoping to use this one as a scrapbook and a way to stretch my creative muscles.

+ selling eight unneeded items for the Farm Sitter Vacation Fund: six pieces of clothing and two pieces of literature curriculum.  After shipping and fees, I made $93.38!

Reading //

  • A Picture Worth a Thousand Words from Denise Trull at Theology of Home // “Holy cards just appeal to a real need for intimacy with God in our hearts. They are like getting to hold his hand or pressing His love to our cheek.” I loved this.
  • The Cure to Our Social Breakdown from Seth D. Kaplan at First Things // “Embedded community is not only important to the future of our faiths, but also to the future of our country. Our growing social breakdown highlights this now more than ever.”  I wonder if this is a similar argument to The Benedict Option (which I have heard a lot about, but never read).
  • For the Love of a Thing: Not Every Worthwhile Endeavor Is a Performance from Keith Lowery // Thought provoking.
  • “Higher Education and Home Defense” from Home Economics by Wendell Berry // This essay was about a community in Indiana concerned about the construction of a nuclear plant nearby, but you could easily equate it to communities in northern Virginia and their fight against data centers.  Berry’s argument is that the highly educated professionals push their goals on a community because they have no attachment to the place.  They do not consider the area home.  They see themselves superior to the people who are naturally cautious about new advancements in their community.  I especially loved this paragraph about the true sense of education:

Education in the true sense, of course, is an enablement to serve – both the living human community in its natural household or neighborhood and the precious cultural possessions that the living community inherits or should inherit.  To educate is, literally, to “bring up,” to bring young people to a responsible maturity, to help them to be good caretakers of what they have been given, to help them to be charitable toward fellow creatures.  Such an education is obviously pleasant and useful to have; that a sizable number of humans should have it is probably also one of the necessities of human life in this world.  And if this education is to be used well, it is obvious that it must be used some where; it must be used where one lives, where one intends to continue to live; it must be brought home. (p.52)

New Additions to The List // 

Watching/Listening //

Loving //

No.818: Last Week at the Farmhouse // The Anti-Library

“The Library of Thorvald Boeck” by Harriet Backer (1902)

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Soooo….I went down a bit of a rabbit hole.  It started with this article which linked to this article, which shared this quote:

Taleb uses legendary Italian writer Umberto Eco’s uncommon relationship with books and reading as a parable of the most fruitful relationship with knowledge:

The writer Umberto Eco belongs to that small class of scholars who are encyclopedic, insightful, and nondull. He is the owner of a large personal library (containing thirty thousand books), and separates visitors into two categories: those who react with “Wow! Signore professore dottore Eco, what a library you have! How many of these books have you read?” and the others — a very small minority — who get the point that a private library is not an ego-boosting appendage but a research tool. Read books are far less valuable than unread ones. The library should contain as much of what you do not know as your financial means, mortgage rates, and the currently tight real-estate market allows you to put there. You will accumulate more knowledge and more books as you grow older, and the growing number of unread books on the shelves will look at you menacingly. Indeed, the more you know, the larger the rows of unread books. Let us call this collection of unread books an antilibrary.

Guys.  There’s a name for my piles of unread books!  It’s an anti-library!

I actually have a Storygraph account that I use to catalog all the books I’d like to revisit.  If I’m reading a book and it references another interesting one, it goes on the list.  If I read about a historical figure to my children for school and realize I know very little, I add a few books of my own to the list.  If I hear about how a classic novel or religious text influenced someone’s life, it goes on the list.  And on and on and on.  As of this writing, my list stands at almost 1600 books. (!!!)  Realistically, I will never finish all of those books in my lifetime.  But it stands as representation of my humanity, a constant reminder of the virtue of humility.  The more I know, the more I realize all I don’t know.

Anyway, I thought I’d share a few of my latest additions to The List:

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ a busy week on the farm!  We’re definitely hitting the crazy part of the growing season where there is so much to do and never enough time.  Our tasks were filled with moving animals around: pigs rotated on pasture, broiler chicks out of the garage and onto pasture, etc.  We held our noses and mucked out the chick area.  (My least favorite farm chore!)  We picked up twenty new hen chicks and got them all situated in the brooder.  We dug trenches and planted seed potatoes and I also hardened off marigolds and some tomatoes to plant next week.  It’s a little early, but the future temps look promising and I need to get them out from under the grow lights!

+ finding an outfit for a fundraising gala.  Between losing some weight and not going to fancy events…ever…I needed a new dress!  Thankfully, I found a beautiful dress and shoes, new without tags, for a deal on Poshmark.  I love the secondhand market.

+ turning off the heat for the season and playing my favorite game of the year: “How long can we go before turning on the A/C?”

+ selling eight unneeded items for the Farm Sitter Vacation Fund: five pieces of clothing, a pair of sandals and two homeschool teacher guides.  After shipping and fees, I made $49.47!

Reading //

  • A Guide to Booklegging: How (and why) to collect, preserve, and read the printed word from School of the Unconformed // The article that started all of this reflection!
  • The Accidental Community from Heather Hawkins // This was so cool.  I would love to do this someday!
  • The Philosophical Act of Wonder from Rachel Wooham at Circe Institute // “Recently, as I spiraled into motherly worries about my children’s spiritual development, it occurred to me that as long as they continue to call, ‘Look!’ something very good is taking place in their souls. This marveling is the harbinger of wisdom.”
  • Home Economics by Wendell Berry and his 1982 essay, “Getting Along with Nature” // I’m reading this book slowly and have really been thinking about this paragraph on page 20:

To make this continuity between the natural and the human, we have only two sources of instruction: nature herself and our cultural tradition.  If we listen only to the apologists for the industrial economy, who respect neither nature nor culture, we get the idea that it is somehow our goodness that makes us so destructive: The air is unfit to breathe, the water is unfit to drink, the soil is washing away, the cities are violent and the countryside neglected, all because we are intelligent, enterprising, industrious, and generous, concerned only to feed the hungry and to “make a better future for our children.”  Respect for nature causes us to doubt this, and our cultural tradition confirms and illuminates our doubt: No good thing is destroyed by goodness; good things are destroyed by wickedness.  We may identify that insight as Biblical, but it is taken for granted by both the Greek and the Biblical lineages of our culture, from Homer and Moses to William Blake.  Since the start of the industrial revolution, there have been voices urging that this inheritance may be safely replaced by intelligence, information, energy, and money.  No idea, I believe, could be more dangerous.

  • The Power Of Doing It Yourself from April Jaure at Hearth & Field // “In my reality, learning to craft these simple, but crucial items taught me to be attuned to the present moment, which is to say that it taught me to be present to my own life. I had been so accustomed to living life in my head, I’m sad to say that if it weren’t for motherhood and the necessity of acquiring some practical skills, I think I could have lived my whole life without being truly present for any of it.”

Watching/Listening //

Loving //

  • All the electrolytes! // One possible side effect of carnivore is muscle cramping and it’s generally due to mineral and electrolyte imbalances.  I haven’t really had any issues, but to avoid this possibility, I try to have an electrolyte drink daily.  We have a variety of brands in the house, from LMNT (pretty good, but I only use 1/3 to 1/2 a packet at a time) to Nuun (my favorite, but actually has little of the important stuff) to Jocko Hydrate (my husband’s favorite).
  • this quote from Henry Ward Beecher:

A little library, growing every year, is an honorable part of man’s history.  It is man’s duty to have books.  A library is not a luxury, but one of the necessities of life.  Be certain that your house is adequately and properly furnished – with books rather than furniture.  Both if you can, but books at any rate.

No.816: Last Week at the Farmhouse // Putting Down Roots

“Apple Trees in Blossom” by Charles-Francois Daubigny (1860)

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I recently finished Grace Olmstead’s book, Uprooted: Recovering the Legacy of the Places We’ve Left Behind, and while it wasn’t a 5-star read, it has made me think about what it means to belong to a place.  I am the daughter of a military officer. In my eighteen years of childhood, I lived in five states (some multiple times, but in different cities) and ten different houses. When people ask me where I’m from, I always awkwardly hesitate, then reply, “I grew up in a military family. I guess I’m from everywhere and nowhere.”

I think that statement is why I’m so attracted to the idea of old-fashioned community and putting down roots. Growing up the way I did, the only roots I knew were my grandmothers and extended relatives, hours and hours away.  I was always so jealous of the comfortable way they knew their neighbors, their favorite businesses.  I was always in awe of the way my grandmother would read the obituaries, telling me entire family trees and stories about how she knew the deceased.  What is that like?  To have history with a single place?  To know it and its people inside and out?

I want to place deep roots into this farm and this community.  I want to plant trees for future generations to enjoy.  I want to support my fellow farmers.  I want to offer our products, time and talents to those that need them.  In a world that increasingly feels like a concrete jungle of isolated individuals, this often feels like a lost cause.  But I’m stubborn and I want to try.  Like Hadden Turner said, “If I don’t care for my local area who else will? There are millions of people looking to care for the globe, but few to care for the places that are right in front of them.”

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ SPRING BREAK.  I had a ton of work to do outside, but the rainy weather forced me inside to rest instead.  An unexpected blessing.

+ going off carnivore for the first time in 60ish days.  I’ll keep this brief because nobody cares, but here are my observances: Fresh fruit was super sweet and I felt nothing negative.  I ate a tiny bit of Easter candy, could feel the sugar surging through my body and immediately felt terrible.  On another day, I had a fresh biscuit and while it didn’t make me sick, it sat in my stomach differently than when I eat carnivore.  So going forward, I’m steering far away from white sugar, will occasionally have bread products and will have to be careful not to eat my weight in fruit, ha!

+ decluttering like a crazy woman.  I started by simplifying my dresser drawers, asking all the questions: Is it too big?  too old?  never worn?  I moved on to my closet and even completely organized all of my resale packing materials while I was in there – I no longer look like a hoarder and a fire hazard!

+ planning the end of this school year and looking ahead to the next.  What a weird space to be in as we start phasing out students and working through the last time of each grade with the youngest.  I’ll never have another first grader!  So bittersweet.

+ reaching 100 days on my “50 pages a day” reading streak on Storygraph!

+ selling nine unneeded items for the Farm Sitter Vacation Fund: seven pieces of clothing, a pair of sandals and a book.  After shipping and fees, I made $88.10!

Reading //

You are not responsible for the whole world — far from it. But you are responsible for the local places in front of you: the local people who you relate to, the unique buildings, art, and beauty that you enjoy every day, and the local environments and habitats that surround the place you dwell. Where you are is where you are — and what you are responsible for. This is a burden heavy enough for us. This is a burden that matches our limitations. This is a burden that we can faithfully discharge. And this is a burden that will present us with a lifetime of opportunities for doing good.

  • The Conservative Case for Remote Work from Public Discourse
  • Keep Your Money Close from Jane Clark Scharl at Plough // “What am I giving up when I hand my money over to Amazon in exchange for fast delivery and a wide range of mediocre goods? And why do I feel a stab of guilt when I hit that ‘buy now’ button, even when the purchase is a responsible one, meaning it is built into my budget and is something my family needs?”  There’s a great list of alternative ideas at the end of the article too.
  • On the Importance of Place from Dale M. Coulter at First Things

Watching/Listening //

Loving //

“Oh no, Father, they can’t read,” replied Augustine.  “They have never been to school, and their parents haven’t either.  The children will learn by watching and listening.”

“Watching and listening,” repeated Father Richardt.  “What do you mean?”

“Well, Father,” explained the youth, “the children must hear us say the prayers and the catechism and watch us do things like going to church and see how Mass is celebrated and how we do things in church.  They must watch us receive Holy Communion and go to confession.  They have to hear the priest read the Epistle and Gospels and listen to the sermons and instructions.  That is the way they will learn.  That is the way I learned.”  Augustine recalled the many times he had “celebrated Mass” for his alley playmates and how they had participated as Mass servers, choir, congregation, and communicants.  (A true Montessorian!) – p.97

No.813: Last Week at the Farmhouse // The Holiest Days of the Year

“Palm Sunday” by Elisabeth Sonrel

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Last Sunday, Palm Sunday, we entered into the holiest days of the Church Year, the days in which we celebrate the completion of the mission for which our Lord Jesus was sent into the world: His suffering, dying and rising from the dead for our eternal salvation. So singular is this time for us that we call “Holy Week” the days from Palm Sunday to the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday. Of all the weeks of the Church Year, during which God faithfully pours forth His grace upon us, we refer to one week only as Holy Week, because the source of all grace is found in the events which took place during this week. (by Cardinal Raymond L. Burke, from here)

Alleluia alleluia!  Christ is risen, Christ is truly risen!  When this post is published, it will be Easter Monday, so the Holy Week readings and things down below will be unhelpful until next year.  Mediating on Our Lord’s death is always a fruitful practice, so maybe you could use them after Paschaltide?

Contemplating with Art // 

“The Last Supper” by Adam van Noort
“Crucifixion” by Tintoretto (1565)
“Deposition” by Rogier van der Weyden (1435)
“Pieta” by Franz Stuck (1891)

Reading //

  • Holy Thursday Meditation on the Blessed Eucharist from Fr. Michael Mueller // “’Who’ asks St. John Chrysostom, ‘will give us of His flesh that we may be filled?’ (Job 31:31). This Christ has done, allowing Himself not only to be seen, but to be touched too, and to be eaten, so that our teeth pierce His Flesh, and all are filled with His love.”
  • Stations of the Cross by Saint Francis of Assisi
  • Discourse 16. Mental Sufferings of Our Lord in His Passion from Cardinal John Henry Newman // Long but really good.
  • Sermon for Good Friday on the Passion of Christ from St. Francis de Sales // “He could have redeemed us in a thousand other ways than that of His Son’s death. But He did not will to do so, for what may have been sufficient for our salvation was not sufficient for His love; and to show us how much He loved us, this divine Son died the cruelest and most ignominious of deaths, that of the Cross.”
  • The Charcoal Fire, a poem by Fr. Timothy J. Draper

Watching/Listening //

  • the Learning to Look series from Fr. Hugh at St. Michael’s Abbey // Short little nuggets of beauty and wisdom.  Makes me want to pull How Catholic Art Saved the Faith: The Triumph of Beauty and Truth in Counter-Reformation Art by Elizabeth Lev off of my TBR shelf.
  • Tenebrae with St. Michael’s Abbey // “The liturgy of Tenebrae (Latin for “darkness”), which dates back to the ninth century, is a special expression of Matins and Lauds unique to Holy Week. The psalms chanted during Tenebrae ground Our Lord’s Passion in the context of Salvation History.”  There were livestreams to watch on each day of the Triduum.  Beautiful.

Loving //

  • The Life of Sr. Mary Wilhelmina by the Benedictines of Mary, Queen of Apostles // “Sister Wilhelmina understood that true holiness consists not in niceness or pleasant feelings but in a battle of wills; she was determined, at all costs, to surrender her strong will to an even stronger one: the will of God.”

No.812: Last Week at the Farmhouse // He Provides

“A Beautiful World” by Grandma Moses (1948)

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We pray these words so often, they almost become meaningless: “Give us this day our daily bread…”  But what does that really mean, our daily bread?  What trust does that require?

It reminds me of the passage in Exodus 16 about manna.  The Israelites were able to gather as much as they needed during the day, but were not supposed to keep any left over until morning.  When some people disobeyed and tried anyway, the manna became “wormy and stank.”  What trust that must have required to be confident that God would provide for them each morning!

Just like the Israelites, my natural inclination is to want today’s manna…and a little bit extra, just in case.  Life, on the other hand, continues to test me!  “Adulting” is full of highs and lows…my husband and I often joke that the best visual of being an adult is the opening scene in Up where the couple saves and saves, only to have to hammer open the piggy bank and start again.

BUT.  If I stop to look, I can see God’s hand working in our finances.  A few recent examples: My husband received a surprise bonus at work, just as we brought his car in for an inspection and discovered it needed $$$ in brake repairs.  Because of that, we were able to get the work done quickly and without going into debt.  My teenage son needed new tires on his car and was offered gig work out of the blue that paid a bit more than the full amount he needed.  He now can drive safely without having to decimate his savings account.  As for me, I had an awesome reselling week, even getting a large order for nine books!  (Thank you so much, Ellen!)  These are more Ebenezers!

I’m more and more convinced that if you give Him room to work, He will surprise you in the best ways.  What a loving and generous God we serve.  Wishing you a blessed and fruitful Holy Week.  See you on Easter Monday!  xo

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ passing around illness as big families tend to do.  Thankfully, I’ve yet to get it and the kids seemed to recover fairly quickly.

+ putting in the sweat equity around the farm and feeling back in my element.  (Last year, I was white-knuckling my way through chores and projects and seriously doubting if this life was for me.  I now see that I was just unwell.)  This week, I planned out pasture rotations for the pigs and even nursed my boar, Fred, back to health after we caught him limping.  Ache Away to the rescue again!

+ making banana bread from overripe bananas.  That rarely happens in this house so it was quite the treat!

+ finishing up the Easter baskets.  Gone are the days of bubbles and sidewalk chalk; now I’m filling them with protein powder and sandals and books.  This growing up business sure is bittersweet.

+ WIND.  The gusts have been insane!  Thankfully, it hasn’t been as bad as two years ago, but we’ve still had damage to our fencing and even had one of our chicken tractors thrown and broken.  Always something…

+ selling 17 unneeded items for the Farm Sitter Vacation Fund: eleven books, a pair of shoes, a dress, a skirt, a nightgown, a jacket and a shirt.  After shipping and fees, I made $107.39!

Reading //

  • Passiontide and Holy Week from Dom Guéranger’s The Liturgical Year // “After having proposed the forty-days’ fast of Jesus in the desert to the meditation of the faithful during the first four weeks of Lent, the holy Church gives the two weeks which still remain before Easter to the commemoration of the Passion. She would not have her children come to that great day of the immolation of the Lamb, without having prepared for it by compassionating with Him in the sufferings He endured in their stead.”
  • Blanched Sun, Blinded Man from Paul Kingsnorth at The Abbey of Misrule // Continuing on in his series.
  • Clean the Clutter from Grandma Donna // “After we finish with Madge’s house I will be thinning out things here at home. What I have learned is, clean the house and clean the clutter. Move whatever we need to move to clean around it, behind it, under, top and clean the items before putting it back.”  Great motivation as I think about spring cleaning!
  • Uprooted: Recovering the Legacy of the Places We’ve Left Behind by Grace Olmstead // As of this writing, I’m about halfway through.  A lot of great quotes, including this one:

Rootedness and perennial belonging often make sense to us on a scientific, ecological level.  We know (or are at least realizing) what the soil needs for biological health and flourishing.  But there seems to be a widespread belief in our society that these principles do not apply to people: that we are different, that our minds and souls are, in fact, better suited to wandering and restlessness than to faithful belonging, the choice to stick.

Watching/Listening //

  • OFF FOR LENT

Loving //

“That sounds like a whole lot of work, Becca. Why bother?!!”
Well, because once you experience this sort of quiet focus on your real life, I think you’ll be hooked. To focus solely on your kids, uninterrupted, is a precious joy. To focus solely on your spouse, without others vying for their attention (or yours) is an immediately-felt gift. The conversations have time to linger, the most important things rise to the surface and the time-wasters quickly look ridiculous. You begin to wonder, “what am I exchanging here—quality time in my real life versus quantity time in this life of screens?” The homemaking and farming and manual labor become the most fulfilling work and it really does fill you up, bringing purpose to your people, and vision for your clan.

No.810: Last Week at the Farmhouse // Make It Up with Relationship

“One of the Family” by Frederick George Cotman (1880)

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission of any sale made at no extra cost to you.

Last week was tough financially.  There’s nothing sympathy-seeking or whiny in that statement; we are no different than so many other families.  I’m generally good at stretching our single income to fill all of the different parts of life – bills, long-term goals, kids needs, the farm – but man…it’s getting trickier and trickier to make it all work.

Anyway, I recalled a line I heard somewhere (you know how I collect quotes from anywhere and everywhere!) that can be best paraphrased as this: “When times are tough financially, you make it up with relationships.”  I believe this statement was spoken in terms of the Great Depression era.  Instead of wallowing in hardship, many families, while knowing on some level that they were poor, still chose to fill their home with love and laughter and generosity.  And it didn’t take a lot of money (or any!) to make it happen.

Isn’t that such a good reminder?  In our home, we can still have a home-cooked meal around the table together.  We can work on the same puzzle we’ve made a dozen times.  We can laugh at “inside jokes” that nobody else would understand.  We can do our farm chores and commiserate on the animals’ antics.  We can share a good book, go for hike, and open our home to friends and family.  These little things are not insignificant.  At the end of the day, we belong to each other – our relationships are what matter most anyway.

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ giving myself a little hair trim.  I just snipped off the dead ends but it definitely looks better.

+ potting up my tomatoes and marigold seedlings.  I had an awesome germination rate this year so I’m considering selling off the extras!

+ whipping up a batch of granola so the kids would eat up two containers of plain Greek yogurt.

+ receiving 179 (175 + 4 extras) baby chicks in the mail after a hand-wringing few days.  Our chicks come from Pennsylvania and usually arrive within 24 hours, easy peasy.  This time, they were shipped Tuesday afternoon, made it to Virginia by Wednesday morning…and just sat at the distribution center.  Thankfully, we heard from the post office first thing on Thursday morning and picked them up right away.  And miracle of all miracles, not a single one had died!

+ cleaning up my strawberry beds and transplanting a bunch of runners into a brand new section.  If everything goes well, we should have double the strawberry output this spring.  (My kids will be thrilled!)

+ selling 13 unneeded items for the Farm Sitter Vacation Fund: three books, two jeans, three shirts, two keychains, two dresses and a pair of sandals.  After shipping and fees, I made $89.10!

Reading //

There are situations in any kind of thankful life that take the shape of a gift that must be accepted, with its corresponding demands. We are offered the gift, but even as we do so we release our self-image of the self-made man, the individualist, who blazes his own way in the world and has gotten here by asserting his rights. When you have received a gift, you have someone to thank, and the process of thankfulness implies a debt. This debt cannot be paid with money; the only acceptable currency is a piece of yourself. You give a part of yourself to your neighbor and now you belong to him, and he to you. You have a stake in his life.

The Enlightenment may have failed, but it taught modern Western people something useful: how to interrogate power, and identify illegitimate authority. But while I learned this early, it was much later that I learned something else, dimly and slowly, through my study of history, mythology and, well, people: that every culture, whether it knows it or not, is built around a sacred order. It does not, of course, need to be a Christian order. It could be Islamic, Hindu or Daoist. It could be based around the veneration of ancestors or the worship of Odin. But there is a throne at the heart of every culture, and whoever sits on it will be the force you take your instruction from.

Watching/Listening //

  • OFF FOR LENT

Loving //

No.808: Last Week at the Farmhouse // Little Moments of Delight

“Daffodils” by Berthe Morisot (1885)

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I was skimming through my planner and noticed the phrase “Little Moments of Delight” jotted into one of the weekly margins.  Hmm…where did that come from?  What did I mean by that?  There was no further explanation, no context.  Out of the brain and out of my memory, I guess.  Regardless of why I wrote it, the little phrase definitely stuck with me as I went about my week, a type of seek-and-find prompt!  Here’s what I found:

Daffodil stems bursting through the ground.  “Puzzling” with my children.  The way the chickens run to me when I come into the barnyard.  Sunshine after rain.  Seeing my husband’s car pull into the driveway at the end of the day.  The pigs’ joy when they enter new pasture.  Watching the sunset.  Waking up to a notice that something has sold.  When the lights come back on after a five hour power outage.  The kids’ excitement as we plan our summer vacation.  Clean sheets.  A pile of new (to us) books in the mailbox.

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ cleaning and decluttering and organizing the garage in preparation for chicks.  I was a woman on a mission and even went through a handful of bins and boxes that have sat in one spot for years!  One trip to the dump later and we have a good as new garage!  Highlight of the day: I found a bin full of my childhood yearbooks and sports memorabilia and the kids wanted a peek.  My two youngest were super impressed with my elementary/middle school softball trophies, ha!

+ having plenty of time to think through and prepare for a vacation this summer…or that’s what I’m telling myself anyway!  There are so many moving parts to leaving a farm and then I have to add in the fact that we haven’t gone on a big trip in years – do we even have enough luggage?!  Lots of lists and to-dos written this week.  I also started a challenge for myself to raise the extra money for a farm sitter.  (It’s going to cost more to leave the farm than it will be to go on the actual vacation!)  For months, I’ve been throwing things I’d like to resell in a bin and now’s the time to get listing!  My goal is to raise as close to the full amount we need as possible.  Current total for the Farm Sitter Vacation Fund: $90.61!

+ finding clothes for one son in the hand-me-down bins.  As the boys get older, my clothes “stash” starts to dwindle, but I did have a handful of nice things for him to wear.  A trip to the store is in order, but every little bit saved counts!

+ creating a fort from a ripped fitted sheet.  The sheet was finally beyond repair but I asked the little kids if they wanted to make a fort with it before it got tossed.  (Or possibly deconstructed for fabric.)  They played in that thing for days!

+ taking advantage of a member sale on ThredUp.  I found many great spring/summer pieces for my daughter and a few dresses for me.  (If you go through this link, you can get 45% off + free shipping on your first order and I’ll get a credit when it ships.  We both win!)

Reading //

‘Our age is so poisoned by lies’, wrote Weil, ‘that it converts everything it touches into a lie.’ Everything deeper, older and truer than the workings and values of the Machine has been, or is in the process of being, scoured away from us. We turned away from a mythic, rooted understanding of the world, and turned away from the divine, in order to look at ourselves reflected in the little black mirrors in our hands. Some people are quite happy with this, and have no time for Romantic Luddites like myself when we lament it. Even we Romantic Luddites are here on the Internet, lamenting. But some day soon we will all have to look up and begin to turn back again. I have a feeling that this process has already begun.

The findings shocked Giulia Menichetti, Senior Research Scientist at the Network Science Institute at Northeastern University, and senior author of the papers. “It surprised me how a considerable amount of highly processed food is mistakenly considered healthy because the public narrative still focuses on one nutrient at a time, instead of evaluating food as a whole,” Menichetti tells Food Tank.

  • Tabitha’s family cell phone policy at Team Studer // It’s truly the wild west out there in technology-land and we’re all doing our best navigating this world for our kids.  Our cell phone policy is a bit different than hers, but I love hearing the different ways families are tackling this issue.  What’s the policy at your house?

Watching/Listening //

  • OFF FOR LENT

Loving //

  • Berry Medley Ricola // My turn with the sore throat this week.
  • pulling out this Ravensburger puzzle to complete again // It’s called “Midnight at the Library.”  I love all of the little details.
  • the story of St. Frances of Rome from Once Upon a Time Saints // I felt such consolation reading about her vocation of motherhood.
  • A Letter for My Mom // I was so saddened to hear of Sarah’s death, but what an incredible legacy she left.  The memories her children have of her are so beautiful.

No.806: Last Week at the Farmhouse // Never Say Never

“Dinner Time” by Frederick Morgan

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“I could never…”  I’ve heard that phrase so many times throughout my adult life.  “I could never have six kids.”  “I could never homeschool.”  “I could never move out to the middle of nowhere.”  “I could never give up my streaming services.”  “I could never run a homestead.”  Although most people have good intentions, I’ve always bristled at these statements because it’s implies that I’m something special, that I have some super power that’s different from everyone else.  Uh no.  You can do anything – even things you never imagined you’d do! – if you want it bad enough.

But I’m here to admit that I broke my own rule.  I’m eating crow.  I’m currently doing the one thing I publicly said I would never do: I’m eating carnivore…and I’m thriving.

The carnivore way of eating has been in our family since January 2023, when I stumbled upon a video from Jess at Roots & Refuge Farm.  In it, she described some of her health issues and how the carnivore diet was helping.  At this time, my poor husband was also dealing a handful of debilitating health issues.  When I mentioned the video to him, he jumped on board.  What did he have to lose?  Everything he had done thus far had not worked.

And he thrived.  He lost a ton of weight (70lbs!) but more importantly, his painful and debilitating gout is gone, he no longer needs to sleep with a CPAP machine, his seasonal allergies are minimal and his plethora of gut issues have resolved.  His blood work is almost in all perfect ranges.  He is in better shape now in his 40’s than he’s been his entire life.

I’ve always been insanely supportive and proud of my husband during this process, but have always said I could never do something so extreme.  You can laugh with me now…never say never.  Spurred on my own health issues, I’ve been eating about 95% carnivore (I’m not a purist because I like my Primal Kitchen sauces) since the end of January.  And surprises of all surprises, I’m a believer now.

Here are a few things I’ve learned so far:

  1. Coming off of carbohydrates might be harder than sugar. // The old me loved carbs with a special love, so the detox period was HARD.  I was irritable and angry and just a terrible person to be around.  It’s wild to me how the body reacts…I can only imagine it was like coming off of drugs.  Worth it, but that was a hard week.
  2. “Wheat belly” is real. // There are books about this, but I always thought that was about other people.  I’m from sturdy stock!  Gluten can’t bother me!  Now I’m not so sure.  I almost immediately lost the embarrassing belly bloat (I’ve been terrified that people would mistake the gut for being pregnant!) and am now wondering if some of my inflammation issues from last year are because of gluten.
  3. I’m satiated and rarely feel like I’m starving. // This may be the wildest result of the list.  I have a good contrast: on January 1st, I started tracking my calories.  Not only was it mentally time-consuming, but I always felt like I was kinda/sorta hungry, but constantly balancing when and how I could stretch those calories.  Fast forward to today.  I generally eat two meals, certainly not low in calories, but enough that I never feel like I’m starving.  I’m not counting the hours until I can eat again.  I eat what sounds good and it is satiating and sustaining.  Absolutely mind-blowing.
  4. My brain feels calm. // If you’ve read my ramblings for the past year, you’ve obviously seen that I’ve been struggling.  Putting on a brave face and never giving up, but struggling all the same.  I could weep in thanksgiving when I tell you that for the first time in a long time, my mental health is great.  My brain feels calm.  I’m not anxiety-ridden or depressed or overwhelmed to the point of desperation.  I don’t feel emotionally dead inside.  It’s an incredible gift to feel well.
  5. I may continue a slightly modified version of this after Lent. // When I started, I told myself that I just had to get through Lent.  Easter was the finish line and then I could go back to eating like before.  Now I’m not so sure.  I do think I will indulge in a few treat days, but currently have every intention of continuing on for the foreseeable future.  I feel too great not to.

But enough about me.  People tend to get really defensive about the carnivore diet and that’s just silly to me.  You do you!  But one word of advice from me: never say never.  You may embark on something you never imagined…and it might change your world.

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ purchasing a vacuum attachment on ebay.  I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned my slight obsession here before, but I have a personal challenge to do everything in my power not to buy another vacuum cleaner for as long as possible.  So silly, but true!  We currently have the Bissell CleanView Pet Vacuum and I have taken it apart and fixed it multiple times since 2019.  Recently, I was frustrated with the amount of dog hair on the upholstery, but couldn’t find the “TurboEraser tool” to clean it up.  After looking all over the house to no avail, I decided to just buy the replacement piece on ebay.  Now the vacuum is complete again and lives another day!

+ listening to “Fast Car” on repeat.  My son has been learning to play Tracy Chapman’s song (or if you’re of a certain age, the Luke Combs version) on the guitar and the tune is following me everywhere.  I’m humming it first thing in the morning and it snakes its way into my dreams at night, ha!  Hopefully, he’ll move on to something different soon.

+ upgrading my cell phone after almost five years.  I am ridiculously proud of myself that I’ve held on so long!  The new challenge: can I keep this phone in good working condition until 2029?  We’ll see!  We also switched cell phone providers which means we’ll be saving about $65 a month.

+ using wood and metal sheeting scraps that we already have on hand to construct another pig shelter.  Max and Ruby are headed out to pasture!

Reading //

Watching/Listening //

  • OFF FOR LENT

Loving //

  • these Minecraft cutouts // My littlest is really into Minecraft right now and has had so much fun making these 3D models of the characters.
  • Avlea Folk Embroidery // These kits are so gorgeous.  I’d love to make a table runner some day.
  • Cold Calm // In heavy use around here as we battle little colds and sore throats.
  • these Money Saving Envelope Binders // After a great conversation about saving, I purchased two of these for my oldest teenagers.  They loved them!  There are multiple ways you can use the binder and they include examples to get you started.

No.804: Last Week at the Farmhouse // Now is the Time

“Lady in Black” by Carl Holsøe

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I don’t have any profound reflections this week…it’s been a week of great joys (a solution to my health issues!  the passing of an important exam for my oldest!) and great frustrations (identity theft!).  I’m sure I’ll have something to say next week but for now, I’ll share a quotation that was appropriate for this Lenten season from The Imitation of Christ:

Do not despair, brother, of making spiritual progress; there is still time and the hour has not yet passed.  Why do you postpone making your resolutions day after day?  Come now, and begin this very moment and say to yourself: “Now is the time to do it, now is the time to fight; now is the right time to amend my life.”  When you are afflicted and troubled, that is the time for merit.  You must pass through fire and water before you arrive at redemption. (p.32-33)

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ solving a piece of the hives/angioedema puzzle.  Right now, the working theory is that something unknown caused a inflammatory reaction in my body, creating the hives.  (Was it the extremely cold temperatures during the polar vortex?  Something I ate?  Stress?  Who knows.)  That overreacting histamine response created a significant allergy to cat dander (!!) which caused the skin around my eyes to swell.  The whole thing flabbergasts me!  Sadly, Pete the cat has been banished to the (very comfortable) basement for the foreseeable future so I can take a break from his dander/saliva.  I’m feeling much better already.

+ starting tomato and marigold seeds under the grow lights.  It was so nice to already have all the needed supplies (trays and grow lights, even seed starting mix) and not have to spend any money.

+ receiving so many wonderful things from my parents.  They are downsizing, going through their belongings and sharing the extras with us.  We received a dining table and chairs (which will be great for one of my kids to take when they move out someday), a Monopoly game, art supplies, clothes and more.  Such a gift to be on the receiving end of such generosity.  Thanks, Mom and Dad!

+ selling three unneeded items: two dresses and a video game.  After shipping and fees, I made $38.08!

Reading //

  • Military chaplains served the ones who served from Aleteia
  • These three things from Grandma Donna // “No matter how young or old or slow we are, we can make a difference if we start with baby steps and keep going. We may not get to running or even walking, but baby steps will still get us there.”
  • Homer’s The Iliad and the Odyssey // I’m almost positive we never read The Iliad in high school literature class because I remember absolutely nothing about it.  Thankfully, I borrowed the kids’ graphic novel to help me keep all the characters straight!

Watching/Listening //

  • OFF FOR LENT

Loving //

  • Parmesan Crisps // the closest thing to a chip I can eat!  Not great enough to binge on, but I appreciate the change in texture.
  • Blank Flipbooks // I bought this as an Easter basket gift, but decided to give it to my son early.  Can’t wait to see what he comes up with.
  • Eczema Moisturizing Body Cream // I purchased this right as my symptoms started clearing, but found it really did help with the itching.

No.803: Last (Two) Weeks at the Farmhouse // Patience

“February” by Theodor Severin Kittelsen (1890)

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Have you ever heard a homily/sermon/talk that felt like it was spoken just for you?  We had a visiting priest say Mass for us on Sexagesima Sunday and his homily felt specifically for me.  But let’s back up.

The past month or so has been a roller coaster experience of hives and facial swelling.  The worst would mostly disappear only to come back out of nowhere again.  So frustrating and discouraging.  I’ve been like a dog with a bone, a mad woman researching everything I can find for possible solutions to make it go away permanently.  On some level, it’s been a great educational deep dive (thinking positively here!) but on others, it’s been incredibly draining and just one more thing on my already full plate.

Back to the homily.  The visiting priest’s homily was about the virtue of patience.  He said that we often think of patience as that thing we need to do when we’re stuck in traffic or our children are being crazy.  All true, but it’s so much more.  Patience is also a sister virtue to fortitude.  Seen in this way, patience enables someone to endure his/her sufferings without sadness or resentment.  The person is then able to conform their will with God’s and even accept the hardships with a kind of spiritual joy.

The perfect lesson at the perfect time when I was struggling so badly!  Like all virtues, this one requires some effort to pursue, but I’m on the right path.  Deo gratias.

Quick health update: At the time of this publishing, some of the issues have subsided, praise God!  I am still on a carnivore(ish) diet, feeling great and am much more positive about this way of eating.  (I did LOTS of complaining as I adjusted!)  I just had an indoor/outdoor allergy test done to see if I can pinpoint the origin of the issue and avoid another flare.  Currently waiting on the results.  Adventure to be continued…

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ the tender way my children looked after me when I was feeling crummy.  Anti-histamine medicine makes me terribly tired and they were so sweet encouraging me to take a nap.  I could hear them through my bedroom door, telling the littler ones to be quiet and helping out so they wouldn’t wake me up.

+ pulling vegetables from the freezer to give to the livestock.  My winter pantry challenge quickly fell apart due to my health fiasco, but I’m back on course!  This time, I thawed a bunch of green beans and peas to give to the chickens, ducks and pigs.  A big hit!  They’ve been dying to eat something green.  I also took a frozen chicken carcass I had saved and made bone broth.  Making dents in the deep freezer, little by little!

+ beginning seed start prep for the new growing season.  Here we go!

+ giving my wooden spoons new life with olive oil.  They were looking quite sad and dried out, but a quick swipe and they look much better.  (I let them dry on a towel overnight.)

+ selling two unneeded items: a holster and a book.  After shipping and fees, I made $100.59!

Reading //

Our children need to know the factual nuts and bolts of history before they reach adult levels of interpretation. But they also need to develop a conceptual sense of history to go hand-in-hand with this classical foundation so that when they engage with historical facts and arguments as they grow older, they will have the ability to make something of them rather than just swallow them whole at the hands of a manipulator. Neither facts nor imagination alone can lead to the kind of maturity that our kids will one day need to exhibit in both the private and the public spheres of modern life.

Watching/Listening //

Loving //

  • Primal Kitchen’s buffalo ranch dressing // keeping my meals tasty!
  • St. Michael’s Abbey’s “virtual retreat” for Lent // I am really enjoying the daily reflections, prayers, and readings.
  • this quote from Saint Alphonsus Liguori:

    Those whose hearts are enlarged by confidence in God run swiftly on the path of perfection. They not only run, they fly; because, having placed all their hope in the Lord, they are no longer weak as they once were. They become strong with the strength of God, which is given to all who put their trust in Him.

No.800: Last Week at the Farmhouse // Raising My Ebenezer

“Landscape with Rocks” by Edgar Degas (1890)

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There’s a house a short way from us that has recently constructed a large rock tower at the front of their property.  I have no idea if the family had a purpose behind it or if they just thought it looked cool.  But it reminded me of a little story in the Bible and I’ve been reflecting on it all week.  The verse is 1 Samuel 7:12: “Then Samuel took a stone and placed it between Mizpah and Shen, and named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘So far the LORD has helped us.'”  That stone became a physical representation of God’s faithfulness to them.  It would be something to return to and reflect upon when times felt tough, a way to remind them that yes, God is always with them.

This week, my daughter and I unearthed a moving box shoved way back in the coat closet.  Inside held a handful of the 12″x12″ scrapbooks I created when my oldest kids were small.  And what a trip down memory lane!  So many little memories that seemed insignificant to document then, so many little pieces of ephemera that were arguably just trash.  What a precious collection to have now.

Those scrapbooks are my Ebenezers.  My new junk journals are my Ebenezers.  Shoot, this blog, started way back in 2011, has been another little way to count my Ebenezers.  They all document the physical representations of God’s faithfulness to me and my family, even if I don’t see it in the moment.  What a gift.

The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy. – Psalm 126:3

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ starting a carnivore(ish) elimination diet on 1/26.  When I broke out in hives and angioedema and it didn’t go away, I knew I would have to do something drastic to feel better.  (I’ve had a whole host of random issues pop up in the past year and this was my breaking point.)  I started by removing all sugar and processed food for a few days, then removed all fruits/vegetables and grains.  I had a few days of the “keto flu” and during the thick of it, I told my husband that natural childbirth was easier than this kind of detoxing!  Thankfully, I’m out of the worst of that!  I’m not out of the woods yet and am still dealing with some flareups, but am hopeful that I’m on the right path.  I’m committed to eating this way at least until Easter before reintroducing things back into my diet.  Consuming only animal products is very different for me, but I’ll do anything at this point to feel well.  And bonus: I get to try some new sauces to change things up!

+ getting Samson and Pete (our Great Pyrenees/Golden Retriever mix and our cat) both neutered on the same day.  The local vets quoted astronomical rates that were completely out of our budget, but we thankfully found a more affordable option with a clinic 30 minutes away.  In and out the same day and both did great!  Pete was pretty loopy for awhile there; they apparently give cats three days worth of pain meds up front!  Sammy is stuck in a cone for 10-14 days and he looks pathetic and hilarious.

+ selling four unneeded items: three books and a kids’ knit hat.  After shipping and fees, I made $13.71!

Reading //

  • Septuagesima from Dom Guéranger’s The Liturgical Year // A favorite priest of mine compared these three weeks to the NFL’s pre-season.  We have to get our head in the game now so we can have a fruitful Lent.

Now, the feast of Easter must be prepared for by forty days of recollectedness and penance. Those forty days are one of the principal seasons of the liturgical year, and one of the most powerful means employed by the Church for exciting in the hearts of her children the spirit of their Christian vocation. It is of the utmost importance that such a season of grace should produce its work in our souls—the renovation of the whole spiritual life. The Church, therefore, has instituted a preparation for the holy time of Lent. She gives us the three weeks of Septuagesima, during which she withdraws us, as much as may be, from the noisy distractions of the world, in order that our hearts may be more readily impressed by the solemn warning she is to give us at the commencement of Lent by marking our foreheads with ashes.

The stretch of road from Lubumbashi to Likasi passes through a broad expanse of open terrain and rolling hills…All is shaded in copper and rust…Redbrick huts reach deep into the bush.  Women cook cassava by open fires.  Toddlers make friends of dirt.  Teenage girls line up at the nearest well with yellow plastic containers to fill their supply of water for the day.  Spires of silver smoke rise from deep within the forest where men burn trees to make charcoal, their only source of heat and light.  This land that is home to the world’s largest reserves of an element crucial to the manufacture of the most dominant form of rechargeable energy in the world still awaits the arrival of electricity. (p.72)

Watching/Listening //

Loving //

  • Woman of the Household course from Life-Craft // Thank you so much for the recommendation, Melisa!  I completed Module 1 and am really enjoying it so far.
  • Freddy the Detective, our new read aloud for school // It’s supposedly #3 in a series, but we were okay jumping right in.
  • Bread cheese // This is technically a no-no for me (I don’t feel great afterward) but so, so good when cut into strips and air fried.  Tastes like a mozzarella stick!

No.798: Last Week at the Farmhouse // Brave Knights & Heroic Courage

“And Every Lad May Be Aladdin (Crackers in Bed)” by Norman Rockwell (1920)

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My reading this week has been full of fantastical adventures and places.  I’ve been reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as a read aloud for school and The Hobbit on my own at night.  It’s no surprise that Lewis and Tolkien were friends because both books teach such similar lessons, especially in the virtue of courage.

I loved this description of courage from Catholic News Agency:

Courage means being able to overcome fear in order to pursue the greater good. This is not the same as being fearless; quite the contrary, the fearless person can never be truly brave. This is because fear is based on love for something, and a desire not to lose it. But if a person does not love the thing he risks, does not value it, then where is the merit in risking it? A suicidal maniac, for example, is not brave because he risks his life for anything; he is stupid for not recognizing the value of his life, and for so casually placing his life in danger.

A brave man experiences fear because he loves the thing he is risking, and so he is afraid to lose it. No one fears the loss of something he does not love and value. Yet what makes a person able to be brave is that he values the thing he is pursuing more than the thing he is risking. Courage means the willingness to sacrifice something lesser for something greater.

Doesn’t that perfectly describe the main characters in these two books?  This part in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe was so good and true: “Peter did not feel very brave; indeed, he felt he was going to be sick.  But that made no difference to what he had to do.” (p.131)  I’m so glad that my children (and me too!) can read these books and see heroic courage in this real and relatable way.

C.S. Lewis once said, “Since it is so likely that they will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage.”  After this week, I’m even more inspired to find literature that fits that description.  Below are a handful of books/series that have been influential in my children’s lives and I’d love to hear your family’s favorites too!

Hoping to document the abundance around me all year long!

Around here, abundance looks like…

+ dealing with a terrible, out-of-the-blue allergic reaction.  Late last week, I woke up to hives and angioedema (facial swelling) around my eyes.  It was uncomfortable, but not really concerning…until it wouldn’t go away.  I eventually went on antihistamines to calm everything down, but those came with their own set of side effects: nausea, drowsiness and general blech.  A week later and I’m still not 100%.  I’m digging deep to make this into a positive example of abundance, but I’m grateful for my body’s ability to tell me something’s wrong and for the gift of self-deprecating humor.  If you don’t laugh, you cry, right?!

+ printing photos for a good, old-fashioned photo album!  One of the bingo prompts this month was to “print out some photos” and this was just the motivation I needed.  When my oldest kids were small, I was really into scrapbooking.  For the middle kids, I made professionally printed photo books.  But for my sweet littlest boys?  The majority of their photos are still stuck on my phone!  I’ve agonized over how to remedy this, but ultimately decided that done is better than perfect.  I picked up an album and have started printing photos on my Canon Selphy.  So excited to have this project started.

+ cleaning the coffee maker.  Less germs and better tasting coffee!

+ selling two unneeded items: a book and a shirt.  After shipping and fees, I made $5.04.  Total profit for the month so far: $213.79.

Reading //

Watching/Listening //

Loving //

Less Materialism, More Intentional Living

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